Grace For Gayle

Just a Little Freak Out

2011-08-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

I'm up to my eyeballs in school planning and the older they get the more bittersweet it is. It's almost like, if I put it off maybe they'll quit growing up?

I think that's perfectly logical.

This year I have a sophomore, freshman, 5th grader and 2nd grader. One I'm helping build resumes and pass certification exams for his career path (computers) and another I'm still working on phonics with. And me, I just want to scream "STOP!" Stop letting the time pass! Stop getting older! Stop becoming adults!

And I'm all teary and poetic and nostalgic about the cute things they say and the daydreams they share and the snuggles they still give me. And I think, "WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO WHEN THEY MOVE OUT?" I mean, who's going to laugh at my stupid jokes or watch chick flicks on my bed with me when we are on our periods or hug my neck?

And there I go again...crying.

It could also be PMS...or menopause....Oh MY GOSH!

So husband, if you're reading this, you better start practicing your neck hugs and chick flick watching. Practice your belly laugh and every once in a while pretend you don't know how to spell a word so I can tell you. Maybe you could leave a few wrappers shoved in between the couch cushions and leave your towel on the floor after you take a shower. It just might make me feel better.

OR...piss me off.

But it's worth a try.

Bengay: The Perfume of the 40's

2011-08-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

I've been on this exercise kick lately because frankly I've gotten a little too soft and mushy for my liking. And the fact that my 40th birthday is mere months away (oh my gosh that freaks me out just to see it in writing) provides plenty of motivation. But working out is gross. I mean the smells, the boob sweat-stains on my shirt....it's totally disgusting. And I have to block out the fact that things are jiggling that shouldn't be. I'm not talking about boobs and bingo wings I'm talking bellies and backs. I'm seriously considering working out in spanx because the jiggling is bad for my ego. And it's not like I have unrealistic expectations. I'm not trying to fit into a bikini or look like Jennifer Aniston. I just want to work with what I've been given and firm it up. I guess I just don't want to look 40. I'd be happy looking 39 for at least another few years.

See....completely realistic, right?

Now I'm off to rub Bengay all over my sore muscles. Bath and Body Works is SO over-rated.

Sister Love

2011-08-01T06:42:00.000-07:00

Being the only girl in the house has sometimes been a challenge for my daughter but at nearly 15 she's weathered it fairly well. I've loved the bond we've shared, since we are both so outnumbered with varying degrees of testosterone. It's been fun to share our love of pedicures and bargain shopping when we are the only two that truly appreciate it. And when PMS hits, we cuddle up together with a good chick flick and soothe ourselves with goodies. The boys know it's best to give us a little more space than usual.

But you know what? A sister never outgrows her need of brotherly affection. I overheard this conversation today and it just warmed my heart.

"Psst. Gabe. Come here," Allegra says and then she whispers something in his ear.

"What did you tell him?" I asked.

With a big grin she says, "I told him he was my favorite brother because he's the one that still gives me kisses."

Papa

2011-07-31T09:00:00.001-07:00

We've been watching a lot of reality TV on instant netflix lately. Things like American Pickers, Clean House, and Take Home Chef. Our latest is Nanny 911. Overall my kids are appalled at the naughty stuff those little TV terrors do to their parents and then we all cry at the end when everything is made right. But with Gabriel, the baby in the family...the kid I was a little lazier with...there are a few points that I can see resonate with him just a bit.

Gabriel barely sleeps in his bedroom now that he has his own room. He'll sleep in the hallway OUTSIDE his bedroom or he'll wind up on the love seat in my bedroom. It was cute for a while but now...not so much. And it drives me crazy but I'm OLD and TIRED now and too LAZY to push it. Hey, I can admit it. So after a few episodes last night....my resolve was strong....I decided I was going to insist that he sleep in his own bed that night.

And he did. No whining or complaining. He turned on some worship music, read a few books and was out like a light. Totally anti-climactic.

This morning I praised him up one side and down the other for what a good job he had done. He proudly grinned, showing his two big over sized grown-up teeth that I haven't quite got used to yet and said, "And you didn't have to all Nanny 911!"

"I don't need to call Nanny 911, I just call Jesus. He knows us better anyway."

And then that adorable little kid said something that took me so many years for me to truly understand myself.

"Yeah," he says, "He's my papa."

Just like that. I love that he gets it so easily.

Random Thoughts

2011-07-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

Thought #1 - There are a few perks to having generally ignored this blog for a few years. I've lost most of my readers which means I can probably say just about anything I want without any backlash. Oooh the freedom!

Thought #2 - Two of my four children slowly trickled down to my bedroom last night to bunk out on my couch and my floor. At first I was a little miffed at this invasion into my little personal oasis but I'm in this new stage of parenting. As my oldest approaches his sophomore year in high school I'm starting to realize that these kids that I've spent years praying for, sweating over, crying about, and generally giving a giant portion of my heart too, are going to be leaving my home way sooner than I'm ready for. I'm thinking of having regular slumber parties now.

Kryptonite?

2011-07-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

We've wondered lately if we have another lactose intolerant person in the house so we've been testing out different foods to see what we can come up with. After a long night of bellyaches and a very uncomfortable kid I'd say it's pretty much confirmed.

Poor Malachi.

This morning after he slept in to make up for his long night, he came upstairs to find me.

Sad and a little dejected at the fact that he was going to be joining his father on the no ice-cream, no cheese, no milk-after-your-brownie diet he said to me, "Well Mom, I guess my weakness is dairy."

To which I replied, "Well, every superhero has a weakness, sweetie."

The ear to ear smile and giant wordless hug from him assured me that I'd said the right thing.

Don't Ever Let This Kid in the Kitchen

2011-07-19T11:54:00.001-07:00

We are just a little bit addicted to reality TV. Not the trashy stuff but things like American Pickers and Take Home Chef. When my little boys were gone for a week for the annual summer grandma-cation, all the teens and I did was watch HOURS of reality TV. I'm not even exaggerating. HOURS! Like don't shower for a few days, stay in your jammies, and eat every meal on the couch.

Not my finest moment.

So when little boys came back last night (Yahoo, I really missed them!) we were slowly detaching ourselves from the hunky Curtis Stone (Oh, shut up...he's adorable) and had just a few more episodes so we could wrap up our reality marathon. Curtis was getting ready to make homemade hot dogs when Gabe, all cuddly on my lap and still smelling of campfire even after I had just scrubbed him says,

"I know how to make hot dogs. All you need is Hotness and Dogs."

I'm so happy he's home but he's not allowed in the kitchen.

Signs of Maturity

2010-12-08T15:21:00.000-08:00

You know, I think I've matured a lot. Because in the old days I would have posted a picture about yesterday's post. This time you just got words.

I'm not saying I didn't TAKE a picture. I'm just saying I didn't post it.

Or maybe it was because I was having camera issues.

Either way that's what we call growth around here.

Oh Ye Of Few Words

2010-12-07T20:07:00.001-08:00

The highlight of my day? You'll regret asking.

The dog ate a blue crayon. Several hours later it came out green. The kids were thrilled.

There's no build up.

No dramatic conclusion.

I think that story speaks for itself.

Well That's One For The Books

2010-12-06T11:05:00.000-08:00

About 5 in the morning Gabe came stumbling down the stairs into my bedroom. He looked like he was still asleep as he held up his finger (the middle one) and cried, "My finger is bleeding." I stumbled out of bed wrapped a bandaid around it and tucked him in between Chris and I, hoping I was still sleepy enough to grab a few more hours of shut eye.

The next morning, when I woke up enough to think clearly, I asked him how he hurt his finger....WHILE HE WAS ASLEEP.

He said, "Something was wrapped around my finger squeezing it tight so I bit it off and it made my finger bleed."

Come to find out his arm had fallen asleep in the middle of the night and it FELT like something was wrapped around his finger so the poor kid chomped down on his numb little hand so hard that it broke the skin.

Is that weird or what?

The Honest Truth

2010-12-05T18:46:00.001-08:00

You know, I'd like you to think that a typical morning in my house consists of me rising before everyone else, peacefully preparing for the day, showered and dressed before the house rose, hot breakfast waiting for sleepy heads to arrive. And, eh....sometimes that's how it goes. But most the time I wake up to this in my face....

A dog laying on my husbands chest licking me...

Gabriel laying on top of me with a big smile...

The next one arrives in the background....

Then they are ALL UP IN MY FACE....

And it's time for me to get up.

Proper Placement of Boogers

2010-12-03T16:04:00.000-08:00

I had just woke up and stumbled upstairs. The immense amount of energy it took me to do this directed me right to the big over sized chair in my living room so I could rest again. I grabbed the nearest dog, Lady our new little cairn terrier, and began to stroke her fir. I petted her and spoke sweetly to her but suddenly her smooth fur was interrupted by a crusty lump. Now, she's pretty low to the ground so it's not unusual for her to pick something up as she's dragging herself around outside and carry it around in her coat for a few hours. I felt it my duty to get it off. The funny thing is that when I pulled it out of her fur and looked at it, it looked familiar. I'd seen it somewhere before. Upon closer inspection I realized just where I'd seen it and numerous others like it. Dangling from one of my boys fingers...and now it was dangling from mine. Yes, one of my boys had recently dug it out of his nose and wiped it on the nearest thing....which happened to be Lady. Poor doggy.

So my morning started with a lesson in hygiene....and self control. I did all I could not to holler this at the top of my lungs while I looked for a kleenex to take care of my own finger.

"When you find a booger dangling from your finger...please dispose of it properly."

I didn't even want to start with the "don't even PICK your nose" part.

Baby steps.

Just In Case The House Sinks...

2010-04-05T23:17:00.000-07:00

Gabe begged me to take him to the dollar store today to spend his Easter money. After at least an hour of filling the cart and putting it away as he changed his mind, filling and putting away, wash...rinse...repeat....he finally settled on a blow up inner tube for the pool.....which we don't have....plus it's rainy and like 46 degrees outside.

But whatever.

He spent all day blowing it up and letting the air out. Again with the wash...rinse...repeat.

Until finally he fell asleep...

With it wrapped around his body.

Yes, he is INSIDE the inner tube.

Well, if the house goes down in the night, Gabriel will be saved.

Boy Drama

2010-04-02T07:28:00.000-07:00

Let me assure you that drama is not just for the girls. When six year old Gabe found green beans on his plate at dinner tonight he looked up at me and said with much long suffereing, "Mommmmm, can you please remove these green beans from my LIFE?"

2010-03-29T22:11:00.000-07:00

How many times have I opened the "new post" page and then left? A lot. This past year has been downright weird. No really. I'm talking all kinds of fetal-position, thumb-sucking, soothe-yourself-with-Ben-and Jerry's weird. But I kind of feel like I'm coming up for air. (Oh please, oh please don't make me eat those words, God.) And I know life isn't supposed to be a bed of roses or a bowl full of cherries but right now I'd settle for a life full of dog farts that don't singe my eyelashes. That would seriously be a step in the right direction.

I don't think that's asking for too much do you?

But anyway. As I said, the air thing.....I feel like I'm coming up and getting some fresh gulps. Things are clicking back into place. My sense of humor is rusty but I'm starting to have a chance at the end of my day to look back and see the funny parts.

Like today when Gabriel (who's 6) pointed out that my shirt was too tight and showed my "bumps". That's code for back-fat if you weren't sure. See....funny stuff.

Or yesterday when everyone was in their bedrooms with radios blaring and couldn't hear me hollering for help when I realized there was no clean towel after my shower. And then, just as I decided to make a break out of the bathroom, down the stairs, past the front door and into my basement bedroom, the Fed Ex guy walked by my front window.

Poor guy.

So yeah, life is finding it's normal again. Unfortunately it's my own expense.

Wisdom Rains Down

2009-12-04T14:48:00.001-08:00

We learned a valuable lesson in the grace for gayle house today.

Gabriel, who is six, learned never to pee outside while standing on roller blades unless you're a REALLY good roller blader.

In the words of his 9 year old big brother, "It was great mom, pee flew everywhere."

I Miss You Too

2009-11-04T22:02:00.000-08:00

I miss blogging over here. This was where I took the things that are my daily life and spun them to be something I could laugh at. And if I made you laugh too, then that made me feel even better. But blah...blah...blah. There are a million and one reasons why I haven't been back to this little cozy space that I call mine.

I won't bore you with the details.

But I long to have the time to find those joyful moments and mold them into something to share.

I'm hoping I find it soon.

Boys

2009-09-06T18:58:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in church today listening intently to the sermon. My six year old son was sitting on the seat beside me and I happened to glance his way. Instead of looking forward at the sermon, he was staring up at me, studying me in what I though to be rapturous love for his mommy. My chest felt full and warmth spread out through my body as I thought about just how much I love this little boy.

And my sweet son looked up and said to me, "Mommy, do I have two chins too?"

little stinker.

Ewww!

2009-08-24T18:57:00.001-07:00

Sitting in the library in the quietest spot I could find. No kids. Finally found an internet connection to use while mine is being worked on. Suddenly the smell of a poop assaults my nostrils. I look up to see a man standing 5 feet away, arms crossed, acting like nothing happened. We both know it wasn't me.

Urgh! Heat Makes Me Cranky.

2009-07-27T17:05:00.000-07:00

It's 108 degrees and I'm grumpy and sweaty and my clothes are drenched. A trip down town around masses of other people was just a little too ripe for me today. It seems some people prefer a deodorant-less existence in my neck of the woods, which isn't such a big deal unless we're having THE HEAT WAVE TO END ALL HEAT WAVES! HELLO!

Pee-yoow!

So I pulled out the slip and slide and I'm just laying in the middle of it while the kids are screaming at me to get out of the way. Selfish children.

And for some reason all of my kids have decided it's a cuddle day today and have been following me around TOUCHING me all day. TOUCHING. ME. Again with the heat, guys.

I think we're having ice cubes for dinner.

I Think I'm Digging The Teen Years

2009-07-26T08:19:00.001-07:00

I exited the bathroom with a scowl on my face and bumped into Allegra in the hallway.

Allegra: What's wrong, Mom?

Me: I just started my stinkin' period.

A few years ago she would have ran away screaming "OH GROSS MOM!" but today she said, " Awwwww," and stepped towards me with arms open for a big hug of understanding.

I like her a lot.

How Cool Is That?

2009-07-23T10:31:00.000-07:00

This blogging thing is kind of amazing when you think about it. Who knew that when I started this blog, back at HSB over 4 years ago, that it would become such a neat way to meet people. People I would never get to meet because they live so far from me or our paths would just never cross otherwise. And it's been fun to read every one's stories and keep up with people. It's widened my horizons, challenged me, made me learn new things, and see how other people live.

And then a few years ago I decided to take it a step further and fly across country with my super friend Emily to actually meet some of these online friends in person. Cindy is just about the sweetest person I've ever met. She's so gentle and thoughtful and has the most gorgeous red hair. And Angel is wise and funny and moving in her posts. Such neat people.

Sarah makes me laugh and makes me think deeper. She's honest and not afraid to hang stuff out there for all to see. I like that. And today she'll become a real life friend too. So this little old blogging thing is way more than just having your corner in cyberspace or having a place to put your thoughts. It's a way to touch other peoples lives and actually make new dear friends.

Pretty darn cool if you ask me.

Tuckers First Bath

2009-07-22T10:02:00.000-07:00

Tucker had his first bath the other day which quickly turned into a sit-com. It seems he didn't like the freezing water that came out of my hose. picky dog. The only way we could get him to stand still was for me to straddle him and hold him steady with my legs while I scrubbed at lightening speed. One child snapped pictures and videos, one child held a leash and spoke comforting words, one child held the hose at ready, and the other child had the easiest job of all....laughing his head off.

There's always one in every family.

But poor Tucker faced the greatest indignity of all. He had to not only be squirted with icy cold water and scrubbed in his most private parts with abrasive hands, but he endured all this in close proximity to my giant butt.

Look at the expression on that face. It says it all.

I'm So Gratefull For This Dog Because Now I Have More Blog Fodder!

2009-07-18T05:14:00.000-07:00

Tucker has fit into our family nicely except for just a few things....

He seems to suffer from a severe case of motion sickness as witnessed by the "rain of slobber during every car ride" as well as the "vomit everything in my stomach all over the car" stuff. But to look at the positive side...I now know that the missing pepperoni scandal from yesterday is solved. Someone has been slipping them to Tucker.

Gabriel (my five year old) entered into the dog thing with a fear of dogs. We knew he'd get over it and every once in a while the braveness outweighs the fear and he'll pet Tucker. Unfortunately Gabe still spends most of his time hopping from couch to table to kitchen counter to stairs just to travel from the family room to his bedroom. He even tries to eat his meals perched on top of the kitchen table rather than in his chair. Now if he could only grow some spiderweb to shoot out of his wrist so he can just swing from the ceiling to travel through the house than I think everything should work out just fine.

And to prove that the dog is one of us I thought I'd share a picture that I took of Tucker and interpret it for you. Because I now speak dog.

"You're going to blog this, aren't you."

I have to admit that I feel even more bonded to this dog knowing that he takes a bad picture every once in a while too.

Introducing Tucker

2009-07-08T18:59:00.001-07:00

The new-pet saga finally has a happy ending. Meet Tucker.

I compromised on only one thing. He's a male instead of a female. But considering we paraded half the female dogs in the pound in front of him to check his hump-factor, (yeah, it was a little like a canine booty call) I'm happy to say he passed the test and came home with us. He's also submissive, obedient, smart, house trained, mellow and cuddly. AND he sleeps through being petted, hugged, and all the screaming, shouting and running that goes on in this house.

Oh...and this is his happy boy.

The Disapearing Blog

2009-06-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

Yeah. I disappear alot on this blog. I'm actually not dead or anything, just busy with real life.

We are still on a dog hunt. The stinky shelter my son was going to adopt a dog from pulled one final blow and adopted the dog to someone else, the day before they told US she would be ready for us to adopt.

Me thinks they didn't like us so much.

It was just one among many strange and awful experiences with this shelter.

So our search continues for the perfect dog companion for my son.

And we're not picky or anything. It just has to be....

female
spayed
house broken
adult (1-3 years old)
small to medium sized
pleasant, cuddly and not hyper
obedient
good with kids

ok, so we're picky.

I can't wait to do the post where I get to show you the picture of our new dog and my kids smiling faces.

It's a-comin'.

Oh Well...

2009-06-14T21:27:00.000-07:00

Uh....yeah. She lasted 11 hours.

Nine of those she was sleeping.

(see previous post)

This Is What We Call A Homeschool Experiment

2009-06-12T20:39:00.000-07:00

My daughter quietly handed me this note this evening...

My question......Why?

Her answer...

Uhhh....oh kaaaay.

I'm thinking she'll last just until she realizes that she has a friend coming over Sunday. What do you think?

Another Example Of Teen Listening Skills

2009-06-07T22:00:00.000-07:00

I was explaining to my husband about the sweet Fathers Day card that I found to give to my dad. With a lump in my throat I explained the picture on front...

"It has a picture of a little girl standing on her Daddy's feet and he's dancing her around. I remember doing that with my Dad only he had different shoes but I'm wearing white tights just like the little girl in the picture."

Allegra pipes in at just that moment with total shock...

"Your Dad wore tights??!?!?!?!?"

Oh Lord, give me patience.

Visitation Day

2009-06-06T08:23:00.001-07:00

You might have read about our adoption attempts earlier in the week. No...not the people kind, the DOG kind. We finally have a date. If no problems arise (ohplease ohplease ohplease)we'll have her on June 27th.

And with that good news we decided to go visit her yesterday.

We are very smitten.

A Much Easier Explanation

2009-06-04T20:06:00.001-07:00

We were watching a move tonight where the main characters ended up getting married. And I guess (well, I'm hoping) that marriage reminded my five year old of his Mom and Dad. Because his wheels started turning and as his mind rolled around the concept of marriage he asked this question...

"Dad, where was I when you and Mommy got married?"

But before we could decide whether to come at this from a "birds and bees" angle or not, Gabriel decided to come at it from a different sort of angle and answered his own question...

"I think I was in Starbucks."

Obviously we drink way too much coffee in this house.

And This Is My Daughter....Grumpy

2009-06-01T20:20:00.001-07:00

Our house is noisy. It just is. There are six of us and if you get us all together in the same room there are usually multiple conversations going on at once. Now, being the Mom, I'm able to have a conversation and listen to another one at the same time. I can ask someone a question, break up an argument, issue chore reminders, and still get back to the original question, all in a matter of seconds.

Years of practice folks.

So, we were all in the vicinity of the kitchen. The kids were talking at the table in loud voices and Chris and I were puttering around in the kitchen. It was noisy and busy and chaotic. I noticed Chris was looking kind of gruff so in an effort to make sure that he wasn't upset with me about something I gently asked, "Honey, are you feeling grumpy?"

I know. Maybe not the smartest question but I asked it in my best June Cleaver voice.

honest.

And our house just happens to be full of grumpy as well as multiple other mood swings because we have fresh teens just breaking their teeth on their new hormones. Such a fun....fun....fun time. (eyes rolling)

But just as Chris turned to answer, my daughter said this...

"Huh? Did someone say my name?"

Apparently she thinks her name is "grumpy" now.

Dog Terrorist? Nah. God Truster? Oh Yeah!

2009-05-21T20:58:00.000-07:00

I admit it. We've been scoping the local pounds for the perfect family dog. We've looked at close to 40 and finally found one that we all fell in love with. This is no small thing for us. I've been anti-pet for years but when our teenage son came to us with his very own puppy-dog eyes and a written request and plan to pay all expenses himself (including a percentage put into a savings account every month to cover unexpected vet bills)....and then went out and found his own lawn mowing work and in a matter of one month raised over $150 dollars...I knew we were going to be adding a new family member soon.

We went into the pound and interacted with a beautiful American Eskimo dog. She was so obedient and patient and well mannered. She liked us...we all (yeah, me too!) fell in love with her...it was a match. I asked several questions...

How much will it cost?

Does she get along with other dogs?

Has she ever nipped at anyone?

Is she potty-trained?

Is she a purebred?

Is she fixed yet?

Come to find out she was in heat and couldn't be fixed yet. So my next question was (since she was a purebred, I know nothing about dog abusers and I'm a homeschooling mom..."What a great learning experience to let her have one litter and study up on stud service, the birth process, how a mommy dog cares for her babies") "Can we breed her once and then get her fixed?" Most likely we wouldn't have done it, but I thought I'd ask.

Uh...guess that was the wrong question. We were immediately declared puppy mill breeders, their tone changed and we were instantly the enemy. They wouldn't let us adopt her until after she was spayed, they wouldn't hold her for us, nothing. Case closed. We could call back once a week and see if she was fixed yet, but no promises.

Yeah, I feel a bit like I just walked through the airport screaming "I have a bomb!"

Needless to say I have a heartbroken boy. But you know what? What a great lesson and I'll tell you why.

All along we've been praying for the right dog to fit into our family. That the Lord wouldn't let us make any mistakes and that His timing would prevail over our passionate rush to get a new cuddly dog. I got to talk to the kids about trusting God's plans and timing, about my own moments of pain and struggle and the times I weathered the storm and looked back thanking God for those hard times and the fruit that they brought to my life. And their disappointment and anger began to soften and seep away.

And mine did too.

And at the end of the day a broken teenage boy kissed me good night and said, "I'm so glad you're my Mom. I feel so much better."

My guess is we'll still have a dog soon. The perfect dog for us. But the lessons we're going to learn along the way and the great story that we'll have to tell will make it an even deeper experience.

I'm Not Sure If That Would Still Be Considered Politically Correct

2009-05-18T19:34:00.001-07:00

While I was off at a homeschool meeting all day Saturday, Chris took all the kids to their first Native American Pow-Wow. The only reason I found out was due to the fact that when I came home and walked in the door, Gabe was wearing only his underwear and had one kitchen towel tucked in the front and one tucked in the back loin-cloth-style. He was dancing around the house on one foot singing "Hubba-hubba, Hubba-hubba."

It seems that if he doesn't know the words, he'll just plug something in there that sounds familiar.

He also didn't quite get the phrase "Native Americans" because all he could tell me about the Pow-Wow was...

He saw a bunch of "Nekkid Americans" and

It is a fact that even "Nekkid American" children like to pick their nose and eat their boogers.

I'm not quite sure how he figured out number two, but I'm too scared to ask.

Oui Oui or Wee Wee?

2009-05-16T21:02:00.000-07:00

My 12 year old daughter, Allegra, and my five year old son, Gabriel were playfully wrestling on the floor. Allegra finally pinned Gabe and amidst all the giggles she said to him, "Say, 'Merci Beaucoup Mon Cheri' and I'll let you up." Gabe giggled and refused, knowing it would prolong their fun. She kept him pinned on the ground and issued her ultimatum again and again until finally Gabe, who was laughing so hard he could barely speak said, "Fine........Merci GO-POO!"

I'm thinking we need just a little bit more work on our Foreign Language Skills.

That's Just The Kind Of Mommy I Am

2009-05-12T17:06:00.000-07:00

So what would you do if you were walking on the beach, far away from a bathroom, and your five year old decided he had to pee and asked if he could just do it in his pants.

A - Rush to the nearest tall dune grass? (Hmm, it was right in front of the restaurant windows. Not something I want to see if I'm getting ready to shovel a nice chunk of clam chowder into my mouth.)

B - Rush him back to the hotel? (The way he was dancing, we weren't going to make it.)

C - Encourage him to just let 'er rip?

That's what I did. He didn't even care.

Pee one minute....

Play the next...

My Hero

2009-05-11T15:06:00.001-07:00

One toilet still clogged.

One family meeting regarding the use of too much toilet paper and the rules of flushing. (After dealing with the clog Chris decided we were all allowed one square per wipe and I had to beg him to let us flush it rather than throw poopy TP in the garbage can. It was a BAD clog.)

One priceless picture of a man and his weapons.

A gas mask? Mwahahahahaha!

It's A Hard Knock Life

2009-05-07T19:52:00.000-07:00

We had a bit of a discrepancy today with one of the kids. Seems they didn't really feel chores were near as important as I did and voiced their opinion in a way that made smoke come out of my ears.

So Dad got involved.

He set this child-who-shall-remain-nameless on a research mission.

"Look up the words tenant and family member, decide which one you are, write a few sentences about which one you want to be, and report back to me."

A little huffing, puffing and stomping occurred as this child went off to work on the assignment. After a large chunk of time, a much humbler child returned and produced this...

"I have learned that being a family member has its own reward. For example if we were tenants we would have to pay to live hear and we would not own a single thing, that would stink. and since we aren't tenant's we get to live hear for free and we have our own responsibility's and we have to do our fair share of the work to keep our house in good shape so that is why i think being a family member is better then being a tenant."

Smart guy, that man of mine.

Who Says Housewives Eat Bonbons? Let Me At 'Em!

2009-05-06T17:24:00.001-07:00

I'm just grossed out.

I spent the day with a rented steam cleaner shampooing carpets in my house. I'm not sure I'll every lay on my floor again. The yuck that comes out of a shampooed carpet is just disgusting.

Next on my list?

Two shower drains that are up to their eyeballs in hair and aren't draining anymore.

I think, instead, I'm going to lay on the couch and read a good book. Maybe if I play dumb, the next person that takes a shower will notice and clean it out.

It could happen, right?

And Here Is Where I Pick Your Brain

2009-05-04T15:43:00.000-07:00

Sign-ups are this month for our next session of Homeschool Co-op and I plan on teaching again but I'm stuck on what to teach.

Seriously stuck!

I'd like to teach to a 12-14 age group but I want something interesting and fun. So any ideas out there? Any classes that you've taught that have been a success? Any curriculum that you loved and would work in a classroom setting with 8 classroom hours and anywhere from 5-12 students?

I'm desperate.

I Can Hear The Bells

2009-05-02T13:41:00.000-07:00

I love going to weddings. In fact, it doesn't even matter if I know the people or not, but I cry at them. Like sobbing cries. Like snot running down my face, cries.

I think it's the romantic in me, because believe me, after living for fifteen years on THIS side of a marriage I KNOW what it's really like. It's stinking hard. Like REAL hard. Like running a marathon on your knees, hard.

Ouch.

Don't' get me wrong, It's still sweet and romantic and wonderful at times but once you've seen your wife squeeze a baby out of a place you only think of for other purposes or nursed your spouse through a flu-bug that exited at every orifice, or worked through a disagreement that brought out the ugliest in both of you, the romance is a little harder to work up. Know what I mean?

Not a lot of mystery left.

But a wedding? Well that brings it all back; the fairy tale, the naive romance, the glow of love that hasn't had any real obstacles yet, the fantasy of what your life together will be like.

I like remembering that.

But I also like being reminded of how far we've come. How much we've learned. How much we've changed. It reminds me that I've invested in this marriage. I've put blood, sweat and tears into it that have cost me my pride, independence and selfishness but brought me security and safety and a partner who knows more about me than anyone else.

And as hard as marriage is, I'd be a fool to give up easily on all that hard work.

So today when I attend the wedding of a friend who was the same age I was when I got married all those years ago, I'm sure I'll cry. And it won't be just about the romance of the moment but also about the thankfulness I feel at all the growth that my marriage has brought to my life and the rewards of having stuck it out.

I'll take that happily ever after, thank you very much.

Things I'm Thankful For

2009-04-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

I'm thankful....

That we didn't move our master bedroom into the basement yet, since it flooded with 2 inches of raw sewage this morning.
That I have a clothesline outside to hang my clothes on because when the spin cycle broke today and the clothes were left sopping wet I could still hang them to dry.
That I had rubber boots with cherries on them to brighten my day as I mopped up chunks from the basement.
That we never got around to putting new carpet in the basement yet and that the flood only covered the areas that were linoleum or cement.
That I have a recipe box full of chocolate goodies and I'm about to cook EVERY single one of them because it's not even noon and I need them in a bad bad way.

Ewwww!

2009-04-24T20:22:00.000-07:00

"Chris, I just want you to know that you are the example of who God is, to our kids."

"Hmmm" he says in a 'that's really heavy and serious' kind of way. I know he's probably thinking about the weight of that prospect and the responsibility of the job and how he can do better. He's a serious guy like that.

But of course this is ME talking and I'm just prepping him for a good laugh.

"Because today we were driving down the road and Malachi said to me, 'Mom, I think the rain is like God's tears......and the fuzzy green trees are like his back and chest hairs."

Oh yeah. Daddy's hairy so God must be too.

Completely rational reasoning for an eight year old.

And just for the record, that is NOT my hubby's back.

How To Carry A Purse Like A Real Man- WFMW

2009-04-21T18:53:00.000-07:00

It seems that as mom's we have our hands full. Not just figuratively but literally. My family and I took a walk on the beach on Sunday and even though I requested that all kids carry their own shoes, by the end of the afternoon I had five pairs of shoes hanging off the fingers of my left hand. When the kids were in the baby stage I had no less than one car seat, a diaper bag, a special blanket and three toys in my arms every time we left the house. Now that they are older my arms are full of coats left behind on church pews, stacks of papers regarding the details of their full social lives, as wells as my own things. And I often find myself saying, "Honey, could you carry my purse for me?"

And I'm usually greeted by a look of horror on his face as his testosterone levels plummet at the mere thought.

Come to find out, the whole "husband carrying the purse" thing is a topic of conversation among men in various locker rooms, Starbucks and men's groups because recently my husband informed me that he was advised on a solution for this masculine problem.

The Football Hold as demonstrated by my very own husband.

This is no joke. For some reason this really makes him feel better about the dreaded task. He wraps it into the shape of a football and shoves it under his arm like he's getting ready to plow towards the end zone.

So pass it on girls and maybe you can avoid the look of horror from YOUR man.

***participating in Works For Me Wednesday.

Yeah....I DO! Now Did Anyone Get Me The Cuisinart?

2009-04-14T18:51:00.000-07:00

You know what one of the coolest things about getting married was? All those amazing gifts. At no other time in my life have I ever received that much loot at once. Not my graduation, not the birth of my babies, definitely not my birthdays.

And people were really generous. I didn't get junk I got high quality stuff that has lasted nearly a decade and a half. Sheets that have lasted through years of "luv", vases that held my first bouquets from Chris and all the subsequent wildflowers and twigs that each child has presented to me, and appliances that have survived my newlywed cooking skills (or lack thereof) as well as the heavy use required to feed six people for years.

But when we reached the 14 year mark of our marriage things started falling apart. Vases began to break, sheets were worn thin, towels were looking pretty raggedy and appliances started busting. In the last week alone my blender and my food processor are, alas, no more.

I was looking up statistics the other day and I found that only 57% of marriages make it past the 8 year mark. So I'm feeling pretty good about beating the odds. I like being above average. It makes me feel good in all sorts of shallow ways. But my only thought was, "Why should I have to pay the price of worn out kitchen appliances for a nice long marriage?" I think we should get all new stuff if we pass the 8 year mark.

So I'm thinking of renewing my vows so I can get a new food processor.

See....my priorities are still in tact, right?

***this is SO tongue in cheek....I told you I was rusty.

BORING!

2009-04-13T18:58:00.001-07:00

13 days!

Seriously.

13 days since I last blogged over here. I feel a little rusty.

I find myself in a bit of a quandary because I mainly post about my kids. My youngest and his poop escapades were a hot topic for a while but he's learned how to do his business proper-like so I'm left without blog fodder.

My oldest two are teens (or nearly so) and as soon as I exclaim over something they've done (like grow a mustache, yodel with a new man voice, or have an emotional girl moment) I immediately hear the words, "Mom, don't blog this."

Shucks.

And my middle son just doesn't provide enough funny stories all by his lonesome to fill up this blog.

Which leaves my silly relationship with my hubby. But that's gonna get old really fast.

So I guess I have to blog about me. Which just isn't any fun at all. (yawn)

I'm working on getting a more exciting life for you guys. Honest.

It Seems We Only Communicate By E-Mail....

2009-03-31T20:45:00.000-07:00

My husband had an emergency today and needed a multi page document typed NOW so guess who does all high-priority typing?

me.

I stopped the other five things I was simultaneously doing to type up his project which I was absolutely THRILLED to do and just happened to take HOURS to finish, leaving my fourth finger on my left hand with a life of it's own...all twitchy and numb and dragging behind it's neighbors.

When I was finished I e-mailed the document to him with this little note...

~~~~~~~~
Subject Line: When we're rich you better take me somewhere tropical!

Dearest Chris,

Here's your d@#! document. I need to trust my instincts. My first guess was that it would take three hours to type up. Hmmm... at "$150 an hour rounded to the nearest five minutes" (which I must have typed 100 times in that lovely document) I'm thinkin you owe me about $450 worth of chocolate.

Best Regards,

Gayle

CEO, The Bryant House
Wiper of all butts,
Fixer of all emergencies,
Lover of all chocolate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hear that marriages with a sense of humor last the longest. I guess I'm in this for the long haul.

Dear Mrs. Bryant....

2009-03-26T15:42:00.000-07:00

You know how in old movies set in Victorian England the gentry called thier spouses by Mr. and Mrs. rather than their names.....

Would you like a glass of sherry Mrs. Bryant?

More eggs Mr. Bryant?

Would you be so kind as to take out the garbage Mr. Bryant?

Why yes, Mrs. Bryant, I'd be glad to take out the garbage.

All very civil and charming. Not even close to my style. Now, my husband on the other hand is a formal, serious, deep thinkin' kind of guy. Which, I'm so NOT. How we managed to hook up is purely one of those things that I'll have to ask about when I get to heaven. Beats the heck out of me. I'm very glad, but um, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING GOD?

So I received this e-mail from my husband the other day and every time I read it, it just cracks me up. (printed with Chris' permission)

Hello Gayle:

My purpose for writing this electronic communication is to check up on our love bank. Please send back an e-mail marked with kisses and hugs if you respect me. I love you very much.

Best regards,

Chris Bryant,

RFC®Personal Financial AdvisorPresident,

Bryant Wealth Management, Inc.

A Registered Investment Adviser

best regards?

BEST REGARDS?

Be still my beating heart.

(although I still liked getting it)

The Male Version Of A Chocolate Craving

2009-03-12T18:20:00.000-07:00

From Elijah, my thirteen year old:

Mom, I've had a really bad day. I had an argument with Allegra, and Gabriel ruined the 3-D puzzle of the White House I was working on.

I need a Big Mac.

Must be a male interpretation of comfort food?

How To Get Your Kids To Pay Attention To Bible Stories

2009-03-10T20:14:00.000-07:00

The top floor of our house has a large foyer and surrounding it are all of the bedroom doors. Every night Chris sits in a chair in the foyer and reads Bible stories to the kids while I do the kitchen clean-up and then relax in the recliner.

It's a very Norman Rockwell moment as strains of Chris' deep voice float down the stairs and the kids lay quietly tucked in their beds, listening raptly. Well, there might be just a little more wiggling and bouncing involved in that picture but you get my drift.

So imagine my surprise tonight when Chris' deep voice was punctuated with laughter.....more deep voice....more laughs and then a few un-biblical words followed by peals of laughter from all four kids.

What the heck?

I found out later that this is what they were reading...

He will take your menservants and maidservants, your best young men and your asses, and put them to work.......Kish had lost some of his asses so he said to his son Saul, "Take one of the servants with you, and go and look for my asses." ...Come let us go home, or my father will cease to think about his asses....

And by that point, Chris could barely speak anymore.

I bet they'll remember that Bible story forever.

All Is Forgiven.....No, I Have NO Idea Who Let The Air Out Of Your Tires.

2009-03-09T00:52:00.000-07:00

Sunday night Chris and I were sitting around chatting with some friends. The attention turned to Chris and he was asked, "So, what's new with you?" He looked stumped so they asked, "OK, what's OLD with you?"

And at that last question he turned without any hesitation, not realizing what he was about to say and looked at me while answering....

"Well, it's Gayle's birthday tomorrow...."

ouch.

One For The Books

2009-03-04T16:24:00.001-08:00

What a fun day. It started in the wee hours of the morning when I noticed that Chris had clearly crossed the invisible line in the middle of the bed that shows where my side ends and his begins. This is a big no-no. I distinctly remember explaining this to him after the honeymoon wore off and before our second child was born. That, yes indeed, there was a "His" side and a "Her" side in our bed. The ability to cross that line is on an invitation only basis.

He hadn't been invited.

So when I awoke out of a sound sleep with Chris' hairy armpit in my face and his insanely warm body smooshed up against mine I was a little miffed. When I looked past the wall of man I realized what the problem was. A drooling five year old was laying in his place and Chris had been shoved to the center.

Unfortunately the drooling five year old ended up in my bed because he had a belly ache that later decided to erupt from his mouth and nose (never seen that before) in a waterfall of color similar to 80's mauve. Lucky me.

And not to be outdone, my thirteen year old son decided to get the mail barefoot which resulted in a 1/2 inch rectangle of dull glass shoved into the bottom of his foot. He bounded in the door dripping blood, just as my 12 year old daughter ran up the stairs crying and slamming her door because I had said something that offended her fine sensibilities. Hours later I'm still trying to figure out what it was I said.

I proceeded to pluck out the glass with my "oh my gosh is that a chin hair!" tweezers. While simultaneously holding back the tide of nausea as I performed minor surgery on my sons foot.

And then found out I started my period.

Of course.

A New Twist To An Old Song

2009-03-03T20:03:00.001-08:00

After waking up this morning to find that someone had hacked into my e-mail account and sent weird e-mails to everyone on my contact list, (nice) I knew my day was shot. I spent all day securing my computer (thanks Brian!) and researching the issue so I could put a stop to it. It would be an understatement to say that I was a little cranky.

I was frantic, berserk, Kuh-Razy!

And the kids in my house wouldn't take a hint. The nerve of them to still want to eat, or spend time with me, or to beg me to do school with them. Sheesh.

So when the problem was fixed (i hope) and the guilt of mentally abandoning my kids finally caught up with me, I knew we needed to leave the house and spend some quality time at one of our favorites spots, the library.

Everyone loaded up into the car, excited to finally DO something today, while I gathered the last things we needed and locked up the house. The minute I walked out the door I could hear giggles and singing coming from the car.

And the closer I got, the clearer the words were....

If you're happy and ANNOYING clap your hands. (giggle giggle)
If you're happy and ANNOYING clap your hands. (snicker, snort)

I'm still not quite sure if they were entertaining themselves or trying to make a direct statement about my attitude today. Either way, we sang it all the way to the library.

The Battle Of The Bible Heroes

2009-03-01T16:22:00.001-08:00

My five year old wanted a snack....

"Mom, I'm an angel. (eyes blinking innocently) Can I have whipped cream in a bowl with a spoon?"

"Well.......ok." He certainly gets points for creativity and charm.

Elijah my teen says, "How come he gets some?"

My smart alecky response, "Because he looked really cute when he said he was an angel."

"Yeah, my name's in the Bible and I'm an angel." Gabriel says in his five year old neener-neener tone.

"Well mines in the Bible too," Elijah says. "And I called down fire from heaven and delivered important messages. All you did was tell Mary she was gonna have a baby."

I don't know whether to clarify that they didn't actually do those things themselves, (surely they know this, right?) to break up their arguing , or to applaud their Bible knowledge.

Instead...

"How 'bout everyone gets whipped cream?"

Parenting crisis resolved.

It's Gonna Be A Bright Bright Sunshiney Day

2009-02-20T09:00:00.000-08:00

It's been a long cold winter. One that probably isn't even over yet. We've had multiple snow storms, some counties in Washington State have been declared disaster zones, and of course the rains that are normal to this part of the country have made their presence known as well. It's been gloomy and dark and yucky here for the past few months. And my kids have spent most of the time cooped up in the house. It seems that the snow is only fun for the first few days. Not so much fun after a few weeks.

So today a strange thing happened. A brightness and dryness that I thought was only in my imagination. It was sun! It hasn't rained for two days.

I hear lawnmowers in my neighborhood.

My kids played outside.

I washed my windows. Seriously. I WASHED MY WINDOWS!

I've been going through my seeds, getting ready to start them indoors in our huge sunny window seat.

Isn't it amazing how a little sunshine can make life look a whole lot better?

Beware Of Putting Limits On Dessert

2009-02-18T20:52:00.000-08:00

The kids and I were looking at a book today that showed a picture of the sinuses. Since we’ve all been dealing with heads full of snot for the past few weeks they were enthralled at the large area that was covered. They were excited to make sense of the pressure that they felt in their faces and to trace their finger over the spots that the picture showed. And one of the kids said, “Boy, that’s like a whole face full of snot.”

“Yeah,” I said, amazed at how intricately it was all mapped out and linked together. “I’m sure God had a reason for putting it all together like that when he made us. I’m just not sure what it is.”

And Malachi piped in with this little nugget, “Well you can ask him when you see him in Heaven…..that is if you’re going there.”

Hello? Does that mean he thinks I’m going to Hell? Dang it, I knew I should have given him that bigger serving of dessert he asked for.

Where Have I Been?

2009-02-12T22:03:00.000-08:00

I keep thinking I need to mosey on over here and fill you in on life. I never thought I'd catch myself saying this but I REALLY wish I had a nice poopy store to tell you. But it seems that my poopy stories are all a thing of the past. That's what happens when our kids start to grow up I guess.

I do have a few other things to tell you though.

There is a great giveaway going on over HERE that you might want to go check out. It's for some cutey patooty cloth diapers that almost make me wish I had a baby bottom to put them on.

And then over at my other blog is a giveaway of a rather personal nature. Sometimes I get great ideas and don't think through the fact that I might have to announce to the world what kind of feminine hygiene product I'm using. You'll understand when you see the post.

And I'm ashamed to admit (don't hate me Emily) that I've been reading the Twilight novels like I'm a starving woman and they are the only piece of chocolate left in the store. I don't know if it just reminds me of the glory days of my own teen angst (minus the whole vampire thing) but I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about and I got sucked in. I still have NO IDEA what the appeal is. But I can't seem to stop until I finish the last book.

On a homeschool note, we've been doing a fascinating World War II study with a book called World War II for Kids. It's amazing how much I DIDN'T learn when they were cramming this stuff into my head in high school. But the kids are totally digging it and it has some fun projects. Yesterday we learned how to put out an incendiary bomb, tomorrow we'll be drawing our own recruitment posters and next week we will put together our own ration kits.

So I apologize right now for the very un-original update.

Dear God, It's Me Gayle

2009-02-04T20:59:00.000-08:00

Dear God,

First I’d like to thank you for all the extra time you’ve been putting in on me, your project. I really appreciate it. Honest. Umm, but I’ve noticed that you’ve been spending some extra effort clearing me up on a few things. Specifically things that I THINK I need in my life but I guess I really don’t. Things like oh, a second car, internet access, my cell phone, an electric garage door opener that actually works, and a flat stomach. It seems you were right. I really won’t shrivel up and die without this stuff.

And while I do appreciate all the one on one attention you’ve been giving me in this area I just don’t feel it’s fair to the other 6 billion people on this planet that I get to be the recipient of all this great customer service. I’m sure there are other people out there that might need a little of your attention and I sure wouldn’t want them to think that I’m just hogging you. So I thought that maybe you’d like to have a little break from me for awhile? You know, just for a bit? I wouldn’t be offended or anything if you felt like you would like to devote some of your attention to someone else. I’ll just sit back and take a little breather right here in my internet-less, cell-phone less, flat-stomach-less life and wait for you to return.

Take all the time that you need.

Your Child,

Gayle

Dear Gayle,

Thank you for your kind letter. I’m so glad to see that you are getting it about the whole “I don’t really need this stuff” thing. It’s so nice to be understood. I knew you’d get it. And there’s no need to worry about the other 6 billion people. When I started this whole human thing I knew what I was doing. It seems that I’m what they call “omnipresent” which means I am the ultimate multi tasker. So don’t worry that the time I spend with you is taking away from anyone else. Isn’t that great? Now we can keep working on you. We are almost finished with this lesson and then we’ll take a little break before we start the next one. But thanks so much for being so selfless and thinking of others.

Your Father,

God

When Boredom Gets The Best Of You

2009-01-29T19:10:00.000-08:00

In a moment of boredom my kids and I somehow got on the topic of elbow licking. It seems that it is an impossible feat. Which made them feel the need to prove that theory wrong.

I have to say it entertained us for a good hour as we all tried various contortionist tricks to reach our elbows.

But the winner in three trys?

Gabe.

And If I was a fly on the wall I bet you're trying it right now too.

Yeah, It's A Meme about Me

2009-01-28T08:00:00.000-08:00

25 Things About Me

1. When faced with the loss of all material things I would choose to keep my wedding ring and my red laptop.

2. I can't stand to have dry lips so I'm addicted to lipgloss

3. I'm convinced that chocolate is medicinal. It always makes me feel better.

4. I NEED to lose 5 lbs but want to lose 15. I must have needed lots of "medicine" this month.

5. I'm completey task oriented. I have to make myself slow down to be relationship oriented.

6. I take a book with me everywhere I go. it's in my purse, my pocket, my glovebox...

7. I like to laugh about everything. Even when it's probably not appropriate.

8. When the mailman comes it feels like Christmas.

9. I sometimes take hot showers till the water runs out.

10. I'm still not sure if we are done adding kids to our family.

11. My favorite meal would be Chicken Broccoli Alfredo from Olive Garden and of course chocolate afterwards.

12. I've been to many tropical locations but I'm dying to work my way through Europe.

13. If I had no self control I would need a room just for shoes.

14. I used to fill a flatbed cart at Costco everytime I went. People looked at me wierd.

15. Teaching my children to read was one of my most thrilling accomplishments.

16. As much as my kids can get on my nerves sometimes, I totally love that I get to stay home with them everyday. Thanks Chris!

17. I have a list of plastic surgeries that I'd like to have done if there was no pain involved, I wouldn't have to explain my vanity to the kids, and there was a money back guarantee that those boobs would still look great when I was 80.

18. I still think of myself as in my 20's even though 40 is looming ever closer.

19. I have to shave my legs EVERY day. (I bet you liked that one Chris)

20. I want to be friends with my kids but still be their mom. Not the kind of parent-friend that says, "Hey drink and have sex in my house where your safe" but the kind where we can talk and laugh and speak into each others lives. That's my goal.

21. I really like being married. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done but I've grown so much and I like the growth.

22. Ditto for parenting.

23. I'm an early riser. I love that time of day when no one else is up yet and I can have my thoughts all too myself.

24. My husband is so deep it hurts my head sometimes.

25. It exhausted me to think up 25 things about myself. Whew.

Who's The Boss?

2009-01-27T08:46:00.000-08:00

5 year old Gabe says...

"Mommy, can I have something for dessert?"

"Why don't you ask your Daddy?"

"But....YOU'RE the boss!"

Chris didn't think that was near as funny as I did.

Girly Weekend = Immediate Diet

2009-01-26T17:50:00.000-08:00

My girly weekend was great. Six friends and I rented a cabin at a retreat center with the intention of spending the whole weekend scrapbooking, eating, talking, and hanging out. I think the sum total of what I actually got done was more like eat, nap, read, eat, giggle, eat, nap, talk, eat, and eat. I think it's a cruel twist of fate that it takes a week to lose a measly 2 lbs but only 2 days to gain 5.

When I got back home, the minute I walked in the door I was greeted by happy smiling faces and hugs all around. And then in the next breath they all asked me what was for dinner.

Can you say R-E-A-L-I-T-Y?

And out of respect for my friends who said, "If you put any pictures of us on your blog we have to approve them first," I am reluctantly honoring their request. Cuz, I'm a good friend like that.

BUT, if you're on facebook you can see all their beautiful faces. Technically that's NOT my blog, right? Hee hee!

Filling Up The Blog

2009-01-22T17:14:00.000-08:00

My mom finally said to me today, "Gayle you need to put a new post up. I'm tired of seeing the same one every day."

Momma talks, Gayle listens.

So here is my post about nothing, because every time the kids say something funny I think, "Hey I should put that on my blog," and then I forget it. I just sit at the computer hours later trying to remember what they said and it's leaked out of my sieve-like brain.

And to continue with the randomness I'm headed out for some girl bonding time in the morning. Me...6 girlfriends...cabin in the woods...chocolate. Can it get any better than that?

Oh, and I'm really digging my husband. We are just clicking like a finely oiled machine lately. I love it when that happens. It's not always like that. Sometimes we are like two opposing magnets but when it's good it's REAL good.

Let's see, what else. Oh, I got my first paycheck for writing. That was cool. Can I call myself an author yet?

So, I'm off to do laundry and pack, write a list of what there is to eat in the house so I don't get a bazillion phone calls while I'm gone this weekend saying, "Mom, there's nothing to eat. What's for lunch?" while I'm 200 miles away.

And Mom and Lisa, you no longer have to look at the post about my sex life.

Feel better?

You Wanna Do WHAT Right Now?

2009-01-13T15:25:00.000-08:00

I remember being a new mom. It was glorious and amazing but exhausting and all consuming. When I finally fell into bed at night all I could think about was how many hours of sleep I could squeeze in before somebody woke up and needed me. Sex changed and became a leaky breasted, ignore the crying baby, "oh just get it over with" kind of thing. It still had it's fun moments but I missed the spontaneity and lust. I couldn't wait until the kids were older because I thought it would be easier to find some time to sneak off and be together.

Bwahahaha!

Now that they are older it's even more difficult. I'm not near as exhausted or sleep deprived but now they KNOW what we are up to. They know what the sly looks, whispers and throaty giggles mean. They have a vague idea what we are doing when we sneak off upstairs, shut the door and push the chair in front of it. They've caught onto our Saturday morning plan. "Hey kids, wouldn't you like to watch a movie and have popcorn for breakfast? No, not that movie. The really LONG one." And the fact that they know just plain grosses me out.

Blech.

So today I was in my room painting my toenails and my husband was getting dressed for work. We thought we were alone upstairs so we didn't talk in hushed tones. The bedroom door was open and Chris says something like this to me...

"Hey, I kinda want to do it."

"Right now? Don't you have to be somewhere?"

"There's always time."

Followed by giggles and whispers and more giggles.

And in that glowy moment of possibility we heard a disgusted teenage voice call across the hallway...

"Uh....I'm up here ya know!"

And it was over like that.

Gross.

Diamonds Are Not A Girls Best Friend....Girls Are!

2009-01-10T09:50:00.000-08:00

I love that my daughter has such good friends. Love it! And the fact that I love their mom just as much as my daughter loves them is a huge bonus. We've had Emily's kids over for a few days now and I can't describe the peace that 8 kids bring to my house. When it's just my four there is all kinds of arguing and rivalries and training involved. When we double in size....well...it's quieter. They are all so absorbed in each other that sometimes Chris and I look at each other across the couch and wonder if they have slipped out of the house when we weren't looking.

The two teen boys hang out in Elijah's room and do mysterious boy stuff in there. Deep voices seep under their closed door and sometimes I wonder what man is in there with them. Oh wait...that's their own voices now.

The youngest three play endless games of Aggravation, Play-Doh, Tag, and Webkinz.

And the three middle girls put on plays, play school, build forts, and giggle, giggle, giggle.

And then they all crash.

Rain Rain Go Away, Come Again Another Day

2009-01-09T08:42:00.000-08:00

Man oh Man it's wet here! Our record snows have turned into massive flooding and people's houses are going under. We've managed to keep safe and dry but just a few minutes away people are being evacuated. The kids have been watching news helicopters fly over the house all day since we are just a couple miles from one of the rivers (as the crow flies). Please pray for the people in this part of the country. Lot's are losing their homes and facing costly repairs. There will be lots of yucky clean up work when all this is over.

If You Were A Fly On Our Wall....

2009-01-06T08:37:00.000-08:00

Conversations overheard at my house....

Gabe: Mommy, I had the best dream. I was a robot with weapons and I rode daddy as my horse.
~~~~~~~~~
Gayle: I’m overwhelmed today. There’s so much stuff I should be doing that I don’t know where to start.
Chris: THIS is a priority. (holding up a box of chocolate cake mix)
Gayle: Yeah…if we can’t have sex right now we might as well have chocolate, right?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Elijah looking through his old baby pictures: Dad’s so young! He looks like Peter Parker from Superman.
~~~~~~~~~~

I Always Wanted To Be Like The Dukes Of Hazard

2009-01-03T13:45:00.000-08:00

We have two paid-for cars. And for that I am very grateful. But paid-for usually means older and older usually means with quirks and THAT usually is a nice way of saying "problems that cost money."

And money doesn't grow on any of the trees in my yard.

So when the driver door on our Volvo began making horribly loud popping noises we just learned how to apply the right amount of pressure when opening it so nobody could hear the noises. But when it popped it's last and refused to even open, locking my husband into the driver seat, I figured I had two options...

Sell one of my children to pay for it or...
Look at it as an opportunity to live out my dreams of being Daisy Duke and enter and exit through the window.

I chose the later.

Bring It On, Lord

2009-01-02T10:31:00.001-08:00

I'll just blurt it out. We don't stay up for New Year's Eve. Mostly because the thought of keeping my 5 year old up that late and the resulting crabbiness just isn't worth it to me. So we did our normal routine (little kids at 8)and went to bed at 11:30. But as the neighborhood fireworks started lighting up the night sky and I laid there with eyes wide open...unable to sleep...as Chris snored beside me I thought I would pray-in the New Year.

Sometimes I hold back when I pray because I've lived long enough to know that when I pray for something God answers. Why does that scare me? Because a lot of times He uses trials and challenges to build in me what I'm asking for. I could ask for just a year of total rest. I'm not sure He'd actually give that to me though and would I really want to just stagnate in my personal growth for a year?

So I prayed with abandon, knowing that whatever tools He uses to work these things out in me...he knows what's best.

Lord, let this be a year of growth for my family. Help knit our hearts together in deeper ways. Teach me how to love my husband in the way he needs to be loved not how I think he needs to be loved. Help me to navigate the challenges that come with my children growing towards adulthood. Light a new passion in my heart for teaching my kids academics as well as character. Renew my strength because weakness is a comforting lie sometimes. Cover our finances with grace and continue to lead us out of debt. Help me to listen to your leading and follow. Stretch me as I minister to others. Increase my understanding of who you are and what you think of me. Cover my failures with grace as I see them growing in my children. Thank you for the house over my head, the food in my fridge and the people in my life that you've handpicked for me. Thank you for the places you've led me out of when I didn't see that there was ever going to be a way out. Thank you for healing the wounds that I wasn't sure would ever close up and for being a big warm lap that I can crawl up into when I need comfort.

Happy New Year.

One Way To Be A Hero In This House

2008-12-29T19:07:00.001-08:00

I made the mistake of introducing my husband to the wonders of facebook. Little did I know that he would be so absorbed by connecting with old friends and family that he would do little else for the next 48 hours. He scoured the lists of classmates and got caught up with people he had thought of over the years but never thought he would see again.

So today when we got away for some date time, he began to tell me about a guy he had tracked down from his college days at CFNI. His name was Kevin Jonas and he was on the worship team at college. In catching up he had mentioned that he had three sons who were now musicians too. Chris related this to me like it was no big deal but suddenly a light bulb went off.

"Uhhh....honey....what was his last name?"

"Jonas"

"HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF THE JONAS BROTHERS????" I always knew he was from a different planet.

"Who?" he asks me.

"Oh nevermind. Just go home and tell the kids you went to college with the Jonas Brothers Dad and you'll be a hero for months."

If you could have heard the screaming....

We Are So Easily Entertained

2008-12-24T07:09:00.000-08:00

The dollar store can be so entertaining. We didn't buy anything but we sure had fun dressing up.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Walking In A Winter Wonderland

2008-12-23T19:15:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, if I don't see Emily for days I go through separation anxiety. She's like a big sanity pill when my life gets a little overwhelming. She grounds me. She helps me to NOT obsess. She makes me laugh.

She...Completes...Me.

Well, maybe that was pushing it just a bit.

So today when I started getting the shakes because it had been almost two weeks since I'd seen her, I called her up and invited myself over.

We can do that with each other.

The only problem was this nasty snow storm we've been having combined with her hair raising-white knuckle dirt road with cliffs on either side. We were going to have to park and hike in.

So the kids and I loaded up and chugged across town in our 4 wheel drive, chains banging on the dry spots on the pavement and slipped and slid our way to Emily's. We hiked through the woods and over hills to finally reach her house. The kids played in the snow for hours and we sat in her nice cozy house and talked about nothing for a really long time.

It was perfect.

Busted!

2008-12-21T22:43:00.000-08:00

We had our first extended family Christmas on Saturday night. We chugged through the mountains and hills to my inlaws house with four wheel drive and chains on the suburban. We were greeted by a good two feet of snow. It was the first white Christmas I've seen in years. Probably since I was a kid.

In a bold move of trust I left the camera in the hands of my husband the whole night. He snapped more than 300 pictures during the course of our celebration. So when I had a few minutes alone I downloaded and looked through all of them.

There were pics of all the kids opening gifts, all the grandparents looking pleased, and tons of me too. The only thing is they were all of the back of my head, or the side of my face hidden behind my hair. I searched and searched until I finally found the ONE picture where you could actually see my face and prove that I was there that night.

And what was I doing?

Shoving chocolate in my face.

Thanks babe! Good times.

The Polar Bear Club

2008-12-19T08:04:00.000-08:00

For days the weather has been forecasting snow for us West Coasters and every morning we would wake up with great anticipation of snowmen, and snow forts and hot chocolate. But we would be sorely dissapointed.

So when we woke up the other morning to a good 4 inches and counting the kids could barely wait to get outside. While the three older kids were busy scarfing down their breakfasts and jamming their bodies into their snow clothes I noticed that one pajama clad kid was missing.

And then I saw a streak of red run by the big bay window in our family room and realized that Gabe just couldn't wait for all those snow clothes. He had run outside barefoot and wearing only his pajama bottoms.

Brrrr!

Always A Trend Setter

2008-12-16T14:47:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been to one of those science musuems that have those big electricity balls that when you put your hands on it, it delivers a current of electricity through your body that makes your hair stand on end and form a hilarious hairball halo around your head?

Well it seems that long curly hair plus frigid cold temeratures plus one down-filled L.L Bean Goodwill coat creates the same effect.

And I have a giant amount of long curly hair.

Just picture that for a moment....in public.

Let The Games Begin

2008-12-15T21:30:00.000-08:00

Tonight was the beginning of the round of Christmas parties that brings in the holiday season for us. We don't really celebrate with the whole Santa thing. Our kids always knew it was a person in a costume. But we also always told them that other people like to pretend for their kids sake that Santa was real so it was a big secret and they weren't supposed to ruin it for others.

They got a big kick out of playing along and being in on the secret but they would never sit on Santa's lap at any of the parties we went to. Because to them, it was some strange man (or on a few occasions, woman) that they'd never met before and I guess they've picked up my boundary issues because I'm really not a toucher unless it's my kids or husband.

But this year, something changed. I dont' know what. But almost all of the kids thought it was cool to cross the personal space bubble and sit on the guys lap.

And I have pictures to prove it

Tradition!

2008-12-10T19:45:00.000-08:00

***I really think we do each other a disservice when we let people think that our marriages are perfect. Marriage is hard and messy and wonderful and amazing all wrapped up in a ribbon. I mean it kind of has to be because we are all human and imperfect and make dumb mistakes and leave the toilet seat up. So when I post about the not so great stuff please know that I still think my man is amazing and I'm in it for the long haul. And if you tell me you never argue and your marriage is perfect than you are a Big Fat Liar. Sorry, thems the facts.

It happens every year...the anniversary of the day that Chris and I decided to merge our two lives into one and live happily ever after.

And we have a very-special-never-fail annivesary tradition.

We argue. Every year.

I think it's because my expectations are too high. That somehow this one day of the year will erase all the bad ones and we will instantly be transported back to our horny, starry eyed, lovesick courting days for a brief 24 hour period. That I can just forget the needy kids, lifes challenges and the fact that my breasts hang a little more south than they did 15 years ago, long enough to stare into Chris' eyes and remember how crazy in love we were when this was all new.

I know, that's a lot to live up to isn't it?

And poor Chris. He knows I have expectations that he'll never be able to meet. And instantly feels like a failure before it even starts.

So we always start off with good intentions but by the end of the day we are about to nicely kill each other.

And then we laugh about it a week later.

Yeah, it's a warped tradition but it's all ours.

And this is kind of how it looked by the end of the day.

Tom Cruise I'm Not...But Maybe Martha Stewart

2008-12-09T13:35:00.001-08:00

Come to find out, THIS isn't near as much fun as I thought it would be. When I slid across the floor in my underwear, hairbrush in hand, singing Let It Snow...snot dripped out of my nose.

Had to stop and lay down.

I did manage to put together a birthday party for my daughter on Sunday. She chose a Candyland theme for her 12th party?!?

But here's what I can do when sick.

Just think how it would have looked if I was healthy!

Marriage And Midnight Ding Dong Runs

2008-12-06T20:11:00.000-08:00

It's been a long day here. After coaxing (threatening) to get on the roof myself and clean the moss off before it caves in, my husband decided it was best if he got up there and took care of it. Which turned into two trips to town for supplies, lots of scraping, cleaning out the gutters, and blowing all the gunk that came out of the nasty gutters into piles to throw away.

So when he finally fell into the recliner tonight he was satisfied but exhausted. And how could I resist when he rolled his head to the side, gave me that look and uttered two words..."ding dongs."

The man has put up with four different seasons of pregnancy cravings...ice chips but only from a certain fast food restaurant, Chinese food at 11PM, chocolate mousse ice cream from the only store in town that carries it. I figured it was the least I could do to run to the store and get the guy a package of ding dongs after a long days work.

At least it wasn't the "other" look. The one that says, "You owe me big time and I'll take my payment in marital intimacies, thankyouverymuch!" Especially since I just brushed my teeth for the first time today and it's 8 PM.

So if you follow my Grocery Cart Challenge blog that's $500 in Chris's love bank, $3 added to my grocery budget this week, and 1 narrow marital escape.

And tonight my dirty teeth and I choose the ding dongs.

A Warning To Pet-Less People Who Want To Stay That Way

2008-12-02T14:46:00.000-08:00

I've tried on pet ownership before and I think I took it too serious. I mean, it was almost that feeling of bringing your new baby home for the first time. I remember sitting on the couch, holding my new infant and crying because all of the sudden there was no nurse to help me. I was the one who was supposed to take care of this tiny helpless baby. And the responsibility scared me.

It was like that with the hamsters, the fish, the lizard and the dog. The overwhelming feeling of, "I could kill this thing if I don't take care of it right," was too much for me. So we got rid of them all promptly. Kids, I got down, but animals...forget it.

So if you've made up your mind that you never want a pet then let me give you a little word of advice...

DON'T READ THE BOOK MARLEY AND ME!

Just don't.

Because if you do, you'll not only laugh and cry about a stupid book telling a story about an obnoxious dog, but it will plant this seed of discontent about your current state of petlessness.

And you'll start fantasizing about finding a perfect dog like Emily has and all the loyalty and love and cuddles you'll get from it. And then it's over. You'll find yourself at the Humane Society picking up some drooling dog, that pees on your foot and leaves a slobber trail down your pant leg.

It hasn't happened yet but I can't tell you how close I am.

Where's The Humor In That?

2008-11-30T08:09:00.000-08:00

In the back of my head is this whining voice telling me, "Girl, you need to blog!" But I really have nothing. I haven't had the time to sit still long enough to contemplate the humor in my day. I'm sure it's there...somewhere.

hello? are you there?

So instead I will tell you the things that I do remember.

Chris got sick on Thanksgiving morning so I slogged my four kids around to all our Thanksgiving parties By. My. Self. He's SO gonna pay.

I've been sucked into some real quality reading lately: The Broke Diaries, Marley & Me and The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks. It ain't Shakespeare but it's absorbing.

We aren't doing a tree this year so the kids dug out all the lights and ornaments and decorated their rooms. They were thrilled! (no tree-freak comments please)

I'm getting ready to slog my kids to church ALL. BY. MYSELF. AGAIN. I swear that man just figured this was the only way to get a vacation. I bet the minute we leave he turns on the music, dances around the house in his underwear and searches for my chocolate stash. I'm SO going to get sick next week.

Obviously Hygiene & Homeschooling Don't Go Hand In Hand

2008-11-25T16:07:00.001-08:00

I feel really fortunate to be able to stay home with my kids and teach them. I love the whole concept of homeschooling and the closeness it brings when we all get to hang out together on a consistent basis. Plus I really like the relaxed environment that a homeschooling lifestyle affords.

But sometimes, when I'm hyper focused on all that we need to get done, it seems that the shower fairy forgets to visit my house.

The kids all remember to shower and bathe but this mommy can be halfway through 2 loads of laundry, a hot breakfast, double digit multiplication, writing prompts, bread rising and phonics before she looks down and sees that she still has her pajamas on.

And at that point why bother?

Don't Put Off Today What You Can Put Off Tomorrow

2008-11-19T16:46:00.000-08:00

I hate procrastinating. I've been staring at my barren garden for weeks just waiting for it to prepare itself for winter and it's just not happening. So the kids and I took advantage of the rain-less day and worked outside to get it ready to sit for the winter.

We use the lasagna gardening method because basically I'm a slacker and if it requires back breaking effort I'm just not interested. We yanked out all the old stalks left from our plants and layerd on old newspaper, compost, leaves and wood ashes so that it can all decompose and make rich soil in the spring It took us a whopping four hours of hard labor and a little grumbling but we finally got it done.

The end result...

It ain't pretty but it will sure grow some big ole 'maters in the spring.

Homeschool Self Flagelation At It's Worst

2008-11-18T19:49:00.000-08:00

I've really been beating myself up over my homeschooling or lack thereof over the past month.

"I'm so boring"

"I'm not doing enough"

"We are so behind"

"I'm such a bad Mom because I'm just not interested"

But today I had one of those moments where I realized I'm just not sucking as much as I think I am.

We were riding in the car to Grandma's house today where I was going to drop the kids off and head to a meeting that was causing me some stress, worry and doubt. So I let the kids know how anxious I was and asked my oldest to lead us in some prayers for their good ole mom.

Elijah started and his prayers were so wise and profound that I was totally blessed. And one right after the other, all the way down to 5 year old Gabe, they whipped out some heartfelt words and petitions that brought me peace and a sense of covering and a true pride in the little (and big) people they are.

And it suddenly hit me how much they HAVE learned.

I still kind of suck at the academic part lately but I'm pretty happy with the other stuff.

What's That In Your Eye?

2008-11-15T15:56:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I'm already out of patience. I don't' know what happens to me during the course of my sleep but I'm already prepared to lose it with the first problem that arises.

So in my efforts this morning to get breakfast made, kids dressed, the Suburban loaded and all of us out the door for our final soccer game, I realized that I couldn't find my organizer that had the address in it for one of the players that we needed to pick up. And yep, I lost it. I blamed everyone in my way, I stormed through the house upending stacks of books and papers, and it wasn't pretty. When I finally found it, it was exactly where I had put it...under the bottom of one of my OWN piles on the kitchen counter.

I was relieved but not sufficiently apologetic yet.

As I switched from Jekyll back to Hyde I stopped at the hall mirror on my way out the door.

My husband tentatively asked what I was doing. I'm sure he was frightened to even talk to me after my tirade.

"I have something in my eye and I'm trying to get it out, " I said.

He started laughing maniacally. He could barely speak.

"What?" I asked.

He replied, "Could it be that giant plank in there?"

Man, I hate it when he's right.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? (Matthew 7:3)

Am I Being Punked?

2008-11-12T15:40:00.000-08:00

It's been a strange day today. It started by waking up to the kids bouncing into my bedroom with the soggy newspaper. Much yelling and jumping and 4 different babbling kids voices before THIS was shoved under my nose.

Yeah, I'm famous. You can wistfully say you knew me when...

(excuse me while I choke on my "5 minutes of fame" laughter)

The fun part is that I dragged my family into the spotlight. Do you know how cool it is to be 8 years old and feel the need to practice your autograph? The kids were giddy with the fact that all their friends were going to see their picture in the paper.

I think Malachi was a little disappointed when we went to the library and he wasn't recognized. Sorry kid, fame is fleeting.

The even cooler news? I got a job out of the deal. You're lookin' at the new columnist for The Daily News. I'll be writing a bi-monthly column on frugality and actually getting paid for it.

Just call me Lois Lane.

Chris is going to love his new title, too.

So Totally Wide Awake!

2008-11-11T04:38:00.001-08:00

So here I am....3 AM can't sleep.

Thinking...thinking...thinking...

I'm sitting in the dark with the glow of the laptop bouncing off my scraggly bed hair, wrapped in a blanket, listening to the rain drip out of my full gutters.

Every once in a while I'll hear a kid get up and use the bathroom and I close my laptop and sit very still, hoping they don't wander around the house trying to figure out where I am.

Because that would totally ruin my aloneness and then I'd have to switch back into mommy mode.

There's time enough for that in the morning.

I was thinking maybe I couldn't sleep and there was something I was supposed to pray about but I got nothin.

So I'm wating to get sleepy enough to go back to bed.

Waiting...waiting...waiting.

Yeah...You WISH Your Mama Was This Hot!

2008-11-07T20:19:00.001-08:00

In my head I don't think of myself as being any older than my early 20's. I still feel young...and immature...and hip. And yeah, I still dress that way. I mean, I do sometimes wonder if I'm one of those aging women who dresses like a teenager and everybody looks at her like, "Oh honey, it's just time to give up."

I know you've seen those women.

Oh Gosh, I hope I'm not one of them.

But apparently I needed a little reminder that my youthful ship had sailed because I got one whether I wanted it or not.

I was exiting a store this week with my oldest son and it happened to be lunch hour at the high school across the street. And since it's an open campus, all the kids come to that same store to get their lunches. So as I walked out of the building I pushed my cart right into the path of three teenage boys and ended up walking in front of them for several steps.

And you know, you can tell when someone is checking you out. And as you may well also know, teenage boys are neither quiet, nor tactful, nor aware of anyone but themselves. Kind of like their bigger counterparts in that sense. So from behind me I heard this...

"Man, she's hot."

And then silence. The kind where you know there is a whole lot going on but nothing is being said and it seems to last for an eternity.

Then the silence was broken by his friend, using these words...

Dude! Ewwwwwwwwww! She's like...A Mom."

And suddenly the mind bubble was burst. I now feel every antiquated day of my 36 years.

But I'm still gonna wear my skinny jeans, converse, hoop earrings and layered T's.

There's gotta be some senior citizen out there who still thinks I'm hot!

Just When I Thought My Poop Stories Were In The Past

2008-11-03T12:53:00.001-08:00

While I was away in Indiana to visit super cool girlfriends, my husband was in charge of all things kids. And you know, Daddy's just do things different than Mommies. They are just a little more adventurous in their dealings with the children. I mean, Schedule Be Darned, right? Who cares if the kids should eat lunch at noon or use a toilet for their business?

Case in point?

My daughter was going to a friends house for a birthday party and they live way out in the country. After dropping off my daughter, Chris decided NOT to waste the gas driving all the way into town just to come back out again. So his plan was to take the three boys even deeper into the country and play until it was time to go back.

They went to the end of the road and found a pasture to play in so they grabbed the old soccer ball out of the back of the Suburban and played happily.

Until 5 year old Gabe decided he needed to poop!

Chris decided a little improvisation was in order and in typical creative man-parenting fashion he came to the conclusion that Gabe was going to poop outside by holding on to the bumper and dangling his cheekies over the ground behind him.

But to top it all off, Chris is nothing if not environmentally aware, and he knew he couldn't just leave people poop on the ground. So he grabbed an old french fry container off the floor of the vehicle and placed it directly under the "exit hole" with much success.

Then he wiped Gabe with some old napkins from the glove box, wrapped it all in an old dollar store plastic bag that he found under the seat and tied it to the rear doors of the Suburban so it wouldn't stink up the car.

Now I'm thinking Chris gets a total A for creativity and Gabe gets one for willingness to poop off the bumper of a car.

But the thing is, Chris forgot the bag-o-poo was hanging off the back of the doors.

AND DROVE ALL THROUGH TOWN FOR THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON WITH A DOLLAR STORE BAG OF FECES HANGING OFF THE CAR!

Until he got to the soccer game and my daughter found it hanging on the rear doors and asked what it was.

Guys just do things completely different than us don't they?

Dude, Wrong Word

2008-10-30T14:14:00.000-07:00

You know how kids find new words that are fun to say? They just roll of the tongue and they say them over and over....and over.

Once it was the word lollipop....

lollipoplollipoplollipop

Once it was crap...

crapcrapcrapcrapcrap

That one was fun.

Well with all the hoopla over the election and the talk floating around the house we are constantly talking about the candidates. And I guess McCain isn't as much fun to say as Obama because my little republican kid keeps walking through the house, the grocery store, and church saying...

ObamaObamaObamaObamaObamaObamaObamaObamaObamaObama

AWK-ward when we've got republican signs all over the front yard.

(and if you read this and are of a different political persuasion remember we are all adults here and I'm not doing any mud slinging....my blog...my vote.)

Happy ?@!!**#$ October!

2008-10-28T18:40:00.000-07:00

This happens every year. I don't know why I expect it to be any different. At least one of my kids always decides at the last minute that they are going to change their costume idea to something else. So today was spent using my last few brain cells to miraculously come up with a NEW costume idea before tomorrow night for my daughter.

What we came up with was an 80's flashback. Oooh, no problem being that the 80's was at the peak of my fashion sense. It had all my favorites....neon Wham!, the trashy Madonna look, the Debbie Gibson cutesy look, and BIG hair!

So you can imagine my relief when she decided to dress up in one of my best fashion decades of memory.

Until she asked me this...

"So, the 80's was poodle skirts, right?"

Is this some kinda cruel joke?

The Girl Gets Serious For A Moment

2008-10-23T18:14:00.000-07:00

Probably the most important thing I did today besides feed my kids, wash some clothes, paint the last room in my parents new house and answer urgent e-mails was the thing that took me a whopping 15 minutes to accomplish.

Chris and I sat on the couch, discussed our political opinions and voted with our absentee ballots.

When we had littler kids it was always such a hassle to get down to the polls before they closed. So a long time ago we decided to vote by mail-in-ballot. Although I love the thrill of going down to the little booth and making an event of it, I have to say that I get even more satisfaction out of the tradition of making a date with my husband on the couch to talk over serious issues and prepare our votes together.

And this election is a big'un. So make sure you find a way to get your vote in. It's REALLY going to count. And if you are interested in an absentee ballot being sent to your house go HERE.

See, I Knew My Connection With Chocolate Was Deep

2008-10-20T17:45:00.000-07:00

Emily and I are on our way home. We flew from Indianapolis to Detroit first and had a few hours to wander around. We booked the cheapest flights EVER which included 3 different airplanes and many layovers.

Not doin' that again!

But while killing time in the Detroit airport I came upon a vision of wonderfullness.

I SO did not photo shop that.

So I bought my hubby a present. (mini chocoalte covered oreos...they might not make it home.)

Soon we'll be on the last leg of our trip as we hop on the next plane here in Minneapolis and fly back to my sleeping family in the Pacific Northwest.

Umm, I Had The Best Intentions But...

2008-10-19T14:58:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I was going to take you all on a virtual bloggy adventure with me. I was going to chronicle my whole cross country red eye flight to Indiana with Emily to have a huge slumber party with Cindy and Angel. I was going to take pictures in the airport, pictures upon arrival, pictures of first hugs, pictures of every thing we did.

But...

We've been so busy soaking each other in that I haven't wanted to pull myself away long enough to blog.

I used to think it was the craziest thing ever when I heard about people who met online and felt a connection and ended up getting married or something. But it is crazy no more.

Because when you follow peoples blogs and begin the e-mails and phone calls of a new friendship you get all the preliminary stuff out of the way. So when you finally get to meet you jump right into the deep stuff. The struggles and triumphs that you really can't put out there for the general public.

And every once in a while I have this moment of, "I can't believe I'm sitting here in Indiana with these girls...in my pajamas...eating Emily's birthday cake...laughing till I cry....and praying for each other."

How cool is that?

Marriage Talk

2008-10-16T09:39:00.001-07:00

Alone with my husband, in the car, on the way to his haircut appointment....

Chris: I have a secret ambition. I'd like to go a whole year with no grooming. No haircuts, no shaving, no toothbrushes, no toenail clipping, no showering.

Gayle: Oh....I see. Your secret ambition is Celibacy?

How Did That Get There?

2008-10-13T18:34:00.001-07:00

I think I have paint permanantly stuck under my fingernails. My parents are moving to a fancy new house and I volunteered to do all the painting.

And when I get home at night I'm finding paint on my skin in places that I KNOW my clothes have covered.

Because I don't make it a habit of wearing daisy dukes and bandeau tops to paint in.

Not even for Chris.

What's That Stuff Called?

2008-10-06T22:30:00.000-07:00

My husband gets the blues, especially during the rainy season in the Pacific Northwest when it's all gloomy and soggy and dark. So he takes Lexapro to keep him level. We call it his happy pill.

The other morning it was grey and wet outside and when he stumbled down the stairs to give me a hug I could see the look on his face was one of, "Can't I just go back to bed?" So I greeted him with this...

"GOOD MORNING HONEY. HOW ARE YOU ON THIS BRIGHT SUNSHINY DAY!" in my best cheesy cheerleader voice followed by an annoying grin that even hurt MY face to hold in place. Then I launched myself at him and hugged his neck, smooched his face and rubbed his back.

We stood like that for awhile until he got a little gropy and after a few minutes I felt him lighten up and he pulled back with a big grin on his face and said, "Who needs Lexapro? I just need SEX-apro!"

Ha! Mission Accomplished.

Halloween, If Only...

2008-10-02T16:33:00.000-07:00

We've never really done the Halloween thing at our house. It's usually spent celebrating Emily's birthday (which is Oct 31st), hitting a local church harvest party, or turning the porch lights off and watching movies and eating pizza.

But seeing all the costumes in the stores and talking to other kids always brings on the fascination and creativity of costumes.

So today the younger two kids were at Grandma's house so I let the older two watch Edward Scissorhands with me (we had to skip over one section...love that feature on the DVD players). Right now they are fascinated by all things Johny Depp since Pirates of the Caribbean came out.

And after the movie they decided that if they ever had somewhere that they had to have a costume, they would all go as Johny Depp Characters.

Elijah said he wanted to be Edward Scissorhands

Allegra wanted to be Jack Sparrow

They decided Malachi could go as Willy Wonka.

But they were stumped as to what 5 year old, tiny little Gabe could be...until the lightbulb went on over Elijah's head.

"He could be an Oompa Loompa!"

Perfect!

So Just How Much Does The Library Rock?

2008-10-01T16:42:00.000-07:00

Ok...the library is seriously cool!

We had to get out of the house today so the best place is always the library because 1) it's free 2) it's full of books and 3) it somehow magically solves any constipation problems.

I know that's weird but tell me that doesn't happen to YOU at the library.

So we walked in and immediately found out it was homework hour. And not only that but Starbucks is here providing FREE hot chocolate to all the kids.

So here I sit on my grand red Dell laptop, tapping away in peace while all the kids make crafts and sip Starbucks.

I know...life couldn't get much better could it?

Well, there IS always the lottery.

How To Make Enemies Of Your Neighbors

2008-09-29T19:06:00.000-07:00

It seems my neighborhood has been over run by political signs. As soon as the democratic and republican nominations were solidified, all of my neighbors ran down to their local political headquarters and grabbed every sign they could find and proceeded to decorate their lawns with them. It looks like one big tacky red, white and blue Christmas display. I'm waiting for the flashing lights to go up next.

Now, Chris and I aren't overly invested in the political arena. We don't watch the news, listen to every debate or read all the magazines with political candidates on the front unless they have invaded my beloved People magazine because we all know that if it makes it into people magazine it's well worth reading.

But we do vote in every election, do a little research on each candidate and occasionally watch a speech on YouTube.

So as the signs began popping up and breeding in my neighborhood, Chris and I began to realize that our fantasy of being best friends with our neighbors was over.

Super Over.

Because every one on my street is supporting the opposite candidate that we are. (I'm SO not telling who I'm voting for because I've seen what happens on other blogs and I'm too chicken to do it so don't even ask.)

So we (Ok, I'm being generous with the "we" thing. It was really Chris' big idea) felt the need to make our (his) political leanings known to the public. And I guess if you really WANT to know who we are voting for you could drive by my house because my husband has proudly nailed our signs in our front yard amongst my opposing neighbors signs. And I can't help but feel like I've just drawn battle lines with everyone who lives near me.

Maybe I should pass out homemade cookies to make sure there are no hard feelings.