August 28, 2007

God's Reward System?


**this may be a little out of the ordinary for a WFMW tip but this is what God spoke to me this week and THAT works for me.

Hubby and I have an issue that has kept us at a standstill for a few years. We just can’t find an even ground. I’m passionate about one aspect of it and he’s passionate about the opposite. We can go months without it coming up, but when it does, out come my tears, his anger and a whole lot of frustration

But in the car on the way to church on Sunday, he blew me away by letting me know that God had changed his heart and helped him to understand what this issue truly means to me. How it means security and family and treasured memories and how he realized how much it would affect me when he would devalue my dream. I truly thought it was an insurmountable issue that would only be resolved by my giving in and going against what I felt strongly about, to follow his lead….and I was almost there too. So to have him switch gears and understand was truly a miracle in my book.

I love that guy!

So the next day I was just thanking God while I was alone in the car and in my head pops this stupid thought…

“I must have done something to please God for him to do this for me.”

Whoa! Since when does God offer blessing based on the reward system? Because if that’s the case then the opposite would be true and I should be struck down by lightening for screaming at the guy that cut me off in traffic today, or for seeing that lady in the grocery store with the rowdy kids and judging her because they were out of control.

And on the heels of that thought came this thought…

"I need to be the kind of parent that blesses my kids just because I love them. Not because they’ve pleased me with their actions or words, or because they’ve done their chores or because it’s their birthday. But just because they are alive…because they breathe…because I love them."

Unfortunately my kids learn about God through me. There’s going to be some stuff they will have to relearn and there will some stuff that I got right. But I really want them to know that they don’t have to qualify to be loved by God. That they don’t have to perform to earn his love.

That he loves us just because we are His.

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in sin. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works so that no one can boast.
Ephesians 2: 4 and 8

17 comments:

nsremom said...

I loved this post. (as I feel priveledged to KNOW what you're talking about!)

yahoo that Chris heard what you deeply were saying. After the other sacrifices that you made. How awesome that he saw the importance of your....one thing.

Em
who is moving tomorow!....to a motel that is. :)

SingForHim @ Real Life said...

Wow. That hits home for me. You've made me realize that I do not reward my kids enough for simply being.

jewlsntexas said...

We are totally on the same page. It is a strange thing though that I have been tossing around - and almost posted about it just this morning - but I had two big things on my mind.

I have lived so much of my Christian life using the flower petal plucking method - "He Loves Me" "He Loves Me Not" and typically based on my circumstances my flower petals are odd in number landing me on the NOT.

Okay - I'll stop here and post on my own blog - sorry! Thanks for a great post.

And awesome that God was able to make hubby truly hear you.

Cindy said...

Loved your thoughts. Growing up with very conditional love and approval and blessings, I really struggle in this area; being aware that I bless them because they ARE, not because of something they DO. I'm rejoicing with you now even not knowing what the issue is. :)

Rachelle said...

What a fantastic post!! Thanks for sharing your testimony. And I loved your thoughts on loving our children.

merry said...

I needed that reminder/encouragement today. Thanks.

Leanne said...

I loved this post, simply loved it. I love you because you are funny, hysterical really, but you go so much deeper than that, you are so in tune with the Spirit too and are serious and relevant too......

Isn't it neat that, just when we ourselves are ready to surrender and give up and submit, God changes hearts? I feel like that's Him saying that He sees our willingness and our desire to really be a Godly wife.....

Good job!

Leanne

Barbara H. @ Stray Thoughts said...

So true. How wonderful that God loves us no matter what.

Halfmoon Girl said...

I too loved this post. I just pray that God fills in the gaps where I fail to show Him to my kids!

Laane said...

Wonderful post.

God loves each and everyone of us and doesn't choose a couple a day to reward them, or to punish them.

His love is unconditional, and he's forgiving.

I've grown up with this and I'm happy I did.

Amy said...

Excellent post! Thanks for sharing.

ConservaChick said...

Why do I require so much more out of my kids than God requires of me??? Fantastic post Gayle! So, what was the issue? (I'm sure everyone else wanted to ask, but I guess I'm the only one nosey enough to ACTUALLY do it (; ~Karlie

tamara cosby said...

This has been on my mind a LOT lately and I am working through my expectations of my children as well..they must be loved because they exist...period. I wrote in my notebook last night (in my first class of the semester, YEE HAW) that my children SHUT DOWN when I start yelling. So what am I gaining? I am getting more and more angry and they are not responding because they can't, they have shut down...so Thanks Gayle, you ALWAYS make me smile ;) HUGS!

penguinsandladybugs said...

Incredible post...I couldn't agree more!

Zen Master said...

Good Post and Good Points.

Thanks for sharing!

Rhen (yestheyareallmine) said...

Amen! This is a great post. It is wonderful to see God not only working on your heart but your hubby's as well. I completely agree that we need to reward our kids with love, attention and special times as often as we can. They deserve it and it is something they will remember for the rest of their lives.

EE said...

Wow...I needed this post today.
Excellent post!

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