September 17, 2007

Just In Case You Thought I Was Perfect

I think I’ve done a thorough job of pointing out my flaws, flops and failures on this blog and if I haven’t, well then hit the archives friends, they are in there in multiples. But just in case you missed them, I thought I should point out my latest failure as a mother.

Getting four kids and two adults to church on Sunday mornings should be an event in the next Olympic Games. It starts on Saturday nights (if we aren’t out late) by scrubbing 4 bodies till they shine and ends the next morning eating granola bars in the back of the suburban while I’m synchronizing the bumps in the road with my mascara wand and trying not to poke my eye out.

So does it surprise you that while holding my four year old during worship, I noticed that his pants pockets were headed in the wrong direction? My reaction was a giggle, pointing it out to my husband while he giggled, and the thought that maybe I would pull his pants down right there in church and just whip them around real quick.

If it weren’t for the fact that he wasn’t wearing any underwear, I just might have done that.

I opted for playing dumb if someone noticed and just marking it up to “the independence I’m instilling in my children.”

Oh but there’s more!

When we went to the library today I noticed his pants were on backwards again.

“Maybe he has clothing dyslexia,” I thought as I watched him run ahead of me into the library. But as I watched him bend and stretch while picking out books, a new horror hit me.


Which means, my dear friends, that not only has he worn those same backwards pants to church on Sunday….he wore them to bed that night and then again all day today…..without underwear to boot!

And while I appreciate his obvious attempts at trying to ease my laundry load, because he’s just so thoughtful like that now that he’s four years old, I guarantee that kid will not be wearing those pants again tonight.

Or at least not tomorrow…..maybe.


Anonymous said...


I can not believe I am about to admit this publicly...Yesterday I realized that my son had not taken a bath in 2 days! I discovered this on a Sunday after church service. *shudder* As I pointed this out to my husband and son-my son said, "I know Mom, I was noticing I smelled a little funny." Talk about Mother of the year here! *groan* Have a great evening. I am off to cook! ((Hugs))

Leanne said...


Oh my heavens! That was soooo funny......

Gabe is a naturalist, if you know what I mean....your post gives new meaning to the phrase "hang loose"!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the laugh!

Oh look, I'm the first one to comment!!!! :~)


Cindy said...

That's better than YOU wearing your pants backwards for two straight days! ;)

jtcosby said...

That is hilarious! Absolutely hilarious...

Veronica Mitchell said...

I heard of a woman once who dressed her kids for church on Saturday night and had them sleep in their clothes. They arrived at church rumpled, but on time. I've never had the guts to try it, but there have certainly been days I'm tempted.

Sarah said...

At our house it is an everyday question to my 6-year-old: "Are you wearing underwear?" The answer is 50/50 yes/no. There is nothing quite like watching your child hanging from the monkey bars as the pants slip farther and farther, waiting to see if that underwear line will show up or...nothing. And boy. You should smell that child's feet.

jewlsntexas said...

That is just great!
My daughter was 4 yo when she went to church in a dress without underwear - and informed me of that in the church parking lot - 30 minutes away from home. I sternly told her to keep her dress down and legs together - of course she didn't. What kind of childhood story would that have been!?

Rhen (yestheyareallmine) said...

LOLOLOLOL!! I have at LEAST one kid who likes to wear the same thing all the time. Usually they let me wash it first except for Ms. Independent (2) who will go get her favorite dress out of the dirty clothes and wear it. Ewwwwww!
Thanks for making me smile and I have awarded you for it too. Head over to my place and pick it up sweetie!

Rachelle said...

Once again, Gayle, you have left me falling off my chair in laughter!

I will never forget the day my daughter's sunday school teacher asked me if I knew Emily had come to church with no panties on. She was 3, had on a pretty little dress and flashed the whole class. LOL Thankfully they were all too little to notice or care.


chickadee said...

oh my goodness. how has he been buttoning his pants? maybe they have an elastic waist.

Kathy in WA said...

Gayle!! I'm tired and need to go to bed and you have me giggling and ignoring the laundry that needs shifts and dh's breakfast that hasn't been prepared yet (and it's MIDNIGHT!).

Thanks for keeping it real, girl. :)
Duckabush Blog

carrielouise said...

Oh my gosh. I wrote a post so much like this a few months ago about Jackelope. Hurry to church, no socks, oh well, right? Then when we got home, I found out he had on no underwear either. Great. Maybe they should hang out! Or maybe not.

Jamie said...

Way too funny!!!

Homeschool Housewife said...

I think you borrowed my kids. My 9 year old wears stuff backward all the time. I think he likes wearing his underwear that way.

As I type my 2 1/2 year old is in a shirt and NOTHING else. We are potty training, and unless he is naked he goes in his pants. I am hoping we can work our way up. Please tell me I have a chance that this will work. He is so stubborn.

And it does not matter what time I get up in the morning we are ALWAYS rushing to church. When we went back Sunday evening I was walking into the building and realize the entire back of my youngest sons hair was standing straight out from his head in a dramatic case of bed head and he still had the tag from child care that morning on the back of his shirt. I thought, did I look at him AT ALL before we left the house.

Oh, well the super mom title will go to someone else this week, but I will persevere and maybe, just maybe I will have that day where I walk into the church building on time and everyone is fully dressed and appropriately groomed. Well, maybe when they are teenagers?

Sharon - aka momn4boys said...

Hey. I'm impressed that the pants stayed dry and poo-less for two days. (or uhhh I assume they were)

Think positive woman!

maudie-mae said...

The no underwear sounds like the son of a friend of mine. She called him Captain Commando and despaired of ever getting him into his undies. Then she figured out he likes boxers. It wasn't such a scene any more.

EE said...

He and Britney have something in common;)

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