The whining, fussing, backtalk and disrespect from my kids has reached epic proportions this week and for some reason I’ve been at a complete loss as to how to fix it. As I stood in the middle of my family room and screamed “SHUT-UP” until my tonsils rattled, my smart husband who was working in his home office crept up the stairs to investigate the source of his wife’s obvious breakdown.
There I stood in tears of frustration, sobbing and trying to explain just how truly horrible my children were. How all they do is whine and complain and disrespect me and I just don’t know what to do to fix it.
I tried not to cry, (cuz I just hate doing it) but the more I held back the more the snot ran out my nose. I waited for his comforting words and the wrath that he was sure to bring down on the kids in my defense.
And as gently as he could, my husband told me how to solve my problem. He basically said that the way to fix the problem is to stop doing it myself. Oh, he said it much nicer and more palatable than that, and he very kindly included himself in there too, but I knew he meant it for me.
And I turned on him faster than a gallon of milk left in the trunk on a hot day. I blamed him for not understanding, for not truly listening, for giving me the wrong answer, for not giving me tools to fix the problem right now…..dang it, I blamed him because it was raining outside. I blamed him just enough for him to get mad too and then stomp away in distraction so we’d get off the topic of me.
And all the while I knew he was right.
In the earlier years of our marriage I would have stubbornly held my ground until he apologized and admitted how horribly wrong he was, but I like to think I’ve matured just a tiny bit since then, and I knew what I had to do.
I swallowed hard and went down to his office to admit he was right. To humble myself enough to ask him to forgive me and let him know that he was dispensing wisdom, but I just didn’t want to hear it since it involved changing myself rather than fixing someone else. We hugged and the last of my pride leaked out my tear ducts.
And this thought kept going through my head…
The wounds from a lover are worth it; kisses from an enemy do you in.
Proverbs 27:6 (The Message)