December 10, 2007

Sometimes Girls Don't Read The Directions Either

One of my “500 things I can’t live without” is lip gloss. I’ve got tubes of them stashed in my purse, in my make-up bag, in my glove box and in my kitchen drawer. It’s a bit of an obsession.

So a friend of mine gave me this great Mary Kay lip gloss.

It seemed to be a colored gloss and a clear gloss all in one which totally feeds my desire for fashion choices.

I opened the colored end and found that it was a wand applicator with a sheer pink gloss on it. Perfect!

I opened the other end to find a clear gloss with a roller applicator and decided to try that one on. I rollered it over my lips but the darn thing seemed to be stuck so I rolled it over my finger until it started to work.

Yeah, I noticed a smell that reminded me of my Grandma but I just figured it was the scent of the lip gloss.

I rollered it on my lips some more and as soon as it went on, it dried up again.

And I find that when something doesn’t work I keep trying it, hoping that somehow it will magically fix it self and start working again. So that is exactly what I did.

I rollered and rollered and rollered….waiting for the gloss to make my aging lips all plump and shiny, but all I got was more Grandma smell and lips that were chapping by the second.

And in a moment of clarity, which it seems doesn’t happen quite enough; I decided it was about time to read the directions on the tube. And you know what they revealed?

This was a lip gloss and a PERFUME!

Now I’m sure that Mary Kay herself thought that was just the bees knees of inventions but I’m here to tell you that, while I have the best smelling grandma lips in all of Washington State…maybe even the world, I just can’t picture my own grandma wearing shiny pink lip gloss with her smelly perfume.


Ronnica said...

I use lipsmacker lip gloss ALL THE TIME. I buy a new pack (of 8) about every 6 months. I guess that means that I use on average more than 1 stick a month!

I've seen those combo things before and wondered who would want it.

Heather Kay said...

So funny, I would have totally done the same thing! I hate directions but my hubby will read them. Opposites you know!

Gayle said...

ROFLOL!! I bet it tasted horrid, too!
I have a sheer pink Clinique lip gloss that I love, but I must have put it on after a visit to Olive Garden or something because now, everytime I open it, it smells like garlic....nasty.

Emily said...

I had Jim read this it was so funny.

For some reason MaryKay reminds me of Avon....and remember those AVON perfume sticks?

I had one.

it wasn't pretty.

Cindy said...

I was laughing so hard a little snot dribbled out my nose.

There... are you proud of me? It isn't THAT word, but "snot" is pretty big for me.

Rachelle said...

This is hilarious! How long until you stop smelling grandma perfume? Did it taste awful?

EEEEMommy said...

You poor girl!
The smell of Mary Kay lip gloss takes me back to my childhood. (My mom tried to be a consultant briefly, it didn't last, but we had fun playing with her saleslady kit!) I like the idea of lip gloss, but the wind always blows my hair into my face and then I get hair stuck on my lips. All. The. Time. Do you have any suggestions for lip gloss that isn't sticky?

Halfmoon Girl said...

I would have done that same thing as well. Maybe you are on to something here- lip perfume. I guess that is what lip gloss is if it has a scent. Glad you figured it out before your lips pruned up completely!

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