November 3, 2008

Just When I Thought My Poop Stories Were In The Past

While I was away in Indiana to visit super cool girlfriends, my husband was in charge of all things kids. And you know, Daddy's just do things different than Mommies. They are just a little more adventurous in their dealings with the children. I mean, Schedule Be Darned, right? Who cares if the kids should eat lunch at noon or use a toilet for their business?

Case in point?

My daughter was going to a friends house for a birthday party and they live way out in the country. After dropping off my daughter, Chris decided NOT to waste the gas driving all the way into town just to come back out again. So his plan was to take the three boys even deeper into the country and play until it was time to go back.

They went to the end of the road and found a pasture to play in so they grabbed the old soccer ball out of the back of the Suburban and played happily.

Until 5 year old Gabe decided he needed to poop!

Chris decided a little improvisation was in order and in typical creative man-parenting fashion he came to the conclusion that Gabe was going to poop outside by holding on to the bumper and dangling his cheekies over the ground behind him.

But to top it all off, Chris is nothing if not environmentally aware, and he knew he couldn't just leave people poop on the ground. So he grabbed an old french fry container off the floor of the vehicle and placed it directly under the "exit hole" with much success.

Then he wiped Gabe with some old napkins from the glove box, wrapped it all in an old dollar store plastic bag that he found under the seat and tied it to the rear doors of the Suburban so it wouldn't stink up the car.

Now I'm thinking Chris gets a total A for creativity and Gabe gets one for willingness to poop off the bumper of a car.

But the thing is, Chris forgot the bag-o-poo was hanging off the back of the doors.

AND DROVE ALL THROUGH TOWN FOR THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON WITH A DOLLAR STORE BAG OF FECES HANGING OFF THE CAR!

Until he got to the soccer game and my daughter found it hanging on the rear doors and asked what it was.

Guys just do things completely different than us don't they?

19 comments:

Sarah said...

Oh my word!

My husband has taught my daughter to go wherever. And it's a little embarrassing when we're at a park with other people and she announces that she has to go and, "I'll just go here." And starts unbuttoning her pants.

It's not cool!

EEEEMommy said...

Completely differently!

Halfmoon Girl said...

ha ha ha, that could go under the "You're a redneck if..." category!

carrie said...

that is so gross. and creative. and weird.

what a hoot!

justjuls said...

Oh my god!!!!! ha hahaha -
I am laughing myself silly over this one! Yes, creative genius - but that is totally hysterical. haha ha
I'll stop now and go laugh on my own blog. ha haahaha

Michelle said...

I got such a laugh out of this story. Dads can be creative that's for sure.

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

Did you rilly think that you were at the end of your poop stories?

Because I have to tell you that I feel sure God's not going to allow it. I'd be like you not eating chocolate anymore or something. :)

Oh, and PROPS to Chris for not hurling during the whole process. Poop without the benefit of water s-t-i-n-k-s.

Terri and Bob said...

Guys can be clever, but just not smart at the same time!

Latte said...

Well at least when your looking back on your life you will have many good laughs!

Latte

Lishak said...

OMG...I laughed until I cried! That was just a hiliarious story! Thanks for brightening my day. :)

Kimmie said...

I have to say that I almost choked on my mouthful of tea...yup, that sure is different.

Kimmie
mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted

Tyna said...

Very, very funny!!!

Jenny's Vegcafe said...

Ha Ha! Thanks for the chuckle.

We're potty training our 2 year old. I'm awash in poop stories.

Marsha Marsha Marsha said...

:snort: Oh my! That is so hilarious and definitely gets an A+++ for creativity.

We have had emergency poops in the car-- why don't parks have public bathrooms?! Fortunately, I had a plastic bag and wipies-- but hanging off the bumper? That is a GREAT idea. I may have to try that. Not as i "I" personally of course, but as in kidlets... you knew that thought right? Oh and I wasn't smart enough to let it air out outside... but next time, I'll let it dangle from my sideview mirror if I have to! P.U.!

dani said...

Oh that is too funny! I'm thinking you could win some prize with that story!

Lynn said...

Absolutely hilarious!
My mom teaches preschool and she says she can always tell the country kids from the city ones by which kids think it might be OK to drop their drawers during recess time.

Growin' with it! said...

i haven't been here in awhile and i come back to this one...gayle once again...you are the funniest blogger EVAH!!!

JenIG said...

Oh heavens to betsy, that is just... um. I'm actually speechless. GROSS!

PS i cannot believe you're from Redding. Talk about a small world

Sandi said...

Oh my goodness! I laughed so hard just now that I was crying..thought I might pee my pants. MEN!

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