Just When I Thought My Poop Stories Were In The Past

While I was away in Indiana to visit super cool girlfriends, my husband was in charge of all things kids. And you know, Daddy's just do things different than Mommies. They are just a little more adventurous in their dealings with the children. I mean, Schedule Be Darned, right? Who cares if the kids should eat lunch at noon or use a toilet for their business?

Case in point?

My daughter was going to a friends house for a birthday party and they live way out in the country. After dropping off my daughter, Chris decided NOT to waste the gas driving all the way into town just to come back out again. So his plan was to take the three boys even deeper into the country and play until it was time to go back.

They went to the end of the road and found a pasture to play in so they grabbed the old soccer ball out of the back of the Suburban and played happily.

Until 5 year old Gabe decided he needed to poop!

Chris decided a little improvisation was in order and in typical creative man-parenting fashion he came to the conclusion that Gabe was going to poop outside by holding on to the bumper and dangling his cheekies over the ground behind him.

But to top it all off, Chris is nothing if not environmentally aware, and he knew he couldn't just leave people poop on the ground. So he grabbed an old french fry container off the floor of the vehicle and placed it directly under the "exit hole" with much success.

Then he wiped Gabe with some old napkins from the glove box, wrapped it all in an old dollar store plastic bag that he found under the seat and tied it to the rear doors of the Suburban so it wouldn't stink up the car.

Now I'm thinking Chris gets a total A for creativity and Gabe gets one for willingness to poop off the bumper of a car.

But the thing is, Chris forgot the bag-o-poo was hanging off the back of the doors.

AND DROVE ALL THROUGH TOWN FOR THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON WITH A DOLLAR STORE BAG OF FECES HANGING OFF THE CAR!

Until he got to the soccer game and my daughter found it hanging on the rear doors and asked what it was.

Guys just do things completely different than us don't they?