First I’d like to thank you for all the extra time you’ve been putting in on me, your project. I really appreciate it. Honest. Umm, but I’ve noticed that you’ve been spending some extra effort clearing me up on a few things. Specifically things that I THINK I need in my life but I guess I really don’t. Things like oh, a second car, internet access, my cell phone, an electric garage door opener that actually works, and a flat stomach. It seems you were right. I really won’t shrivel up and die without this stuff.
And while I do appreciate all the one on one attention you’ve been giving me in this area I just don’t feel it’s fair to the other 6 billion people on this planet that I get to be the recipient of all this great customer service. I’m sure there are other people out there that might need a little of your attention and I sure wouldn’t want them to think that I’m just hogging you. So I thought that maybe you’d like to have a little break from me for awhile? You know, just for a bit? I wouldn’t be offended or anything if you felt like you would like to devote some of your attention to someone else. I’ll just sit back and take a little breather right here in my internet-less, cell-phone less, flat-stomach-less life and wait for you to return.
Take all the time that you need.
Thank you for your kind letter. I’m so glad to see that you are getting it about the whole “I don’t really need this stuff” thing. It’s so nice to be understood. I knew you’d get it. And there’s no need to worry about the other 6 billion people. When I started this whole human thing I knew what I was doing. It seems that I’m what they call “omnipresent” which means I am the ultimate multi tasker. So don’t worry that the time I spend with you is taking away from anyone else. Isn’t that great? Now we can keep working on you. We are almost finished with this lesson and then we’ll take a little break before we start the next one. But thanks so much for being so selfless and thinking of others.