May 2, 2009

I Can Hear The Bells

I love going to weddings. In fact, it doesn't even matter if I know the people or not, but I cry at them. Like sobbing cries. Like snot running down my face, cries.

I think it's the romantic in me, because believe me, after living for fifteen years on THIS side of a marriage I KNOW what it's really like. It's stinking hard. Like REAL hard. Like running a marathon on your knees, hard.


Don't' get me wrong, It's still sweet and romantic and wonderful at times but once you've seen your wife squeeze a baby out of a place you only think of for other purposes or nursed your spouse through a flu-bug that exited at every orifice, or worked through a disagreement that brought out the ugliest in both of you, the romance is a little harder to work up. Know what I mean?

Not a lot of mystery left.

But a wedding? Well that brings it all back; the fairy tale, the naive romance, the glow of love that hasn't had any real obstacles yet, the fantasy of what your life together will be like.

I like remembering that.

But I also like being reminded of how far we've come. How much we've learned. How much we've changed. It reminds me that I've invested in this marriage. I've put blood, sweat and tears into it that have cost me my pride, independence and selfishness but brought me security and safety and a partner who knows more about me than anyone else.

And as hard as marriage is, I'd be a fool to give up easily on all that hard work.

So today when I attend the wedding of a friend who was the same age I was when I got married all those years ago, I'm sure I'll cry. And it won't be just about the romance of the moment but also about the thankfulness I feel at all the growth that my marriage has brought to my life and the rewards of having stuck it out.

I'll take that happily ever after, thank you very much.


Mrs. Querido said...

Amen. Well said :)

Adminswife said...

I read about your raw sewage backup. Our house did that last September. When we came home from church the drain pipe looked like Old Faithful - it was shooting up about two feet. Our plumber put in a back water valve - or a check valve in the sewer line. Yes, he had to tear up the cement a little, but he did replace it (thank you!). Now the sewage will NEVER come in the house again - hallelujah! I am sure you know all this, but just in case you don't it will save your sanity the next time the water/sewage decides to back up - it won't be in YOUR basement!

Heather Kay said...

Amen, Sister!

Halfmoon Girl said...

I love this post- so well written and so true!

The Semi-single Mom said...

I even cry at TV weddings. And proposals.

Frugal in Florida said...

I am the same way Gayle ... a wedding on TV, guaranteed to have a few sobs. Kinda embarassing at times!

But after nearly 18 years of marriage (and almost 10 years of 'dating') I think I get all emotional for those days where it was just the 2 of us and nothing else mattered. Before the bills, the kids, the worries, and such. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE all the stuff that's happened over the years, but the simplicity of being a 'newly wed' is just a little envious.

Emily said...

Yep. Being married is NOT like t.v., good or bad. It's just something you have to experience to know what it's like. Like being a mother.

WHO KNEW that being a mom would be this hard either?

But BOTH are worth every drop of blood and sweat and gallons of tears.

Rona's Home Page said...

Yes, I love the romance of a wedding. And I always cry at them too!

EEEEMommy said...

Loved this post! Love that you can be poignant and touching whilst grossing us out with thoughts of the flu. Nice! ;)

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