October 22, 2007

Recipe For Booger Salad Sandwiches



  1. Take four hard boiled eggs and let your pre-schooler remove the shells which eliminates the need for chopping the eggs into uniform chunks since they are destroyed during the removal of the shell.

  2. Toss them into a giant skid proof bowl that your child can stir without stirring it right off the counter.

  3. Ignore that the recipe calls for finely chopped green onion because you learned many years ago that an onion in your house just rots. If it’s snuck into any meal, no matter how small you’ve pulverized it, the built in onion-radar that each one of your kids has inherited from you, will find it.

  4. Also ignore that the recipe calls for diced pimento and instead replace it with some leftover Kalamati olives from a night when you were feeling all “gourmet”. I mean really, who keeps those little red things that your kids yank out of their green olives anyway?

  5. Next add 2 tablespoons of mayonnaise with the spoon that your kid has already licked, brushed his hair with and stuck between his legs to ride like a horsey.

  6. And when the kid isn’t looking, sneak in the tablespoon of mustard that he hates.

  7. Let your little angel stir and stir and while he’s occupied take this moment to load the dishwasher and wipe down the counters.

  8. But when you notice the silence that warns you that you better find out what your little angel is doing, don’t be shocked when your son or daughter has realized that the color of the egg-salad is, amazingly, the exact same color as the booger on the end of his finger.

8 comments:

elaine@bloginmyeye said...

I have definitely seen #1 and #2, and I love #5! Classic.

Halfmoon Girl said...

That was cute. I don't want you to take this the wrong way... the other day I walked into our family room and saw a dirty diaper that our dog had half eaten and smushed into the cream throw rug, and I thought of you... The poo thing, you know? Super gross situation... If I already told you this, please forgive me- I am not feeling too bright tonight.

nsremom said...

You made me laugh out loud.

I'm laughing like crazy picturing you two making your sandwiches.

Miss you guys.

carrie said...

riding it like a horsey! Crack Up! That one got a snort out of me. I can so picture that.

Cindy said...

I hear boogers add protein.
I want to meet that kid!

penguinsandladybugs said...

Too funny!!! I've said it before, but I'll say it again Gayle...you are ALWAYS good for a giggle!

Leanne said...

Ahhhhh....

Pardon me for saying so, but the name ruins it for me. I guess I have a super weak tummy.......but if I was over at your house, I would eat it, just to be polite!!

And halfmoon girl's comment about her dog just about caused me to lose it, ya know?

I can imagine that all of those things actually have happened in your house......

Prescription for relaxation:

1) Get a good book

2) lock yourself in the bathroom under the guise of going potty.....

3) bring a good piece of chocolate....

4) sit in the tub and read your book and eat your chocolate!

Take Care!

Leanne

ConservaChick said...

ouob Very funny Gayle. I am always sneaking something in our recipes, because between all 4 of my children's dislikes, we are left with nothing but ice cream and cookies. ~Karlie

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...