Sister Love

Being the only girl in the house has sometimes been a challenge for my daughter but at nearly 15 she's weathered it fairly well. I've loved the bond we've shared, since we are both so outnumbered with varying degrees of testosterone. It's been fun to share our love of pedicures and bargain shopping when we are the only two that truly appreciate it. And when PMS hits, we cuddle up together with a good chick flick and soothe ourselves with goodies. The boys know it's best to give us a little more space than usual.

But you know what? A sister never outgrows her need of brotherly affection. I overheard this conversation today and it just warmed my heart.

"Psst. Gabe. Come here," Allegra says and then she whispers something in his ear.

"What did you tell him?" I asked.

With a big grin she says, "I told him he was my favorite brother because he's the one that still gives me kisses."

Papa

We've been watching a lot of reality TV on instant netflix lately. Things like American Pickers, Clean House, and Take Home Chef. Our latest is Nanny 911. Overall my kids are appalled at the naughty stuff those little TV terrors do to their parents and then we all cry at the end when everything is made right. But with Gabriel, the baby in the family...the kid I was a little lazier with...there are a few points that I can see resonate with him just a bit.

Gabriel barely sleeps in his bedroom now that he has his own room. He'll sleep in the hallway OUTSIDE his bedroom or he'll wind up on the love seat in my bedroom. It was cute for a while but now...not so much. And it drives me crazy but I'm OLD and TIRED now and too LAZY to push it. Hey, I can admit it. So after a few episodes last night....my resolve was strong....I decided I was going to insist that he sleep in his own bed that night.

And he did. No whining or complaining. He turned on some worship music, read a few books and was out like a light. Totally anti-climactic.

This morning I praised him up one side and down the other for what a good job he had done. He proudly grinned, showing his two big over sized grown-up teeth that I haven't quite got used to yet and said, "And you didn't have to all Nanny 911!"

"I don't need to call Nanny 911, I just call Jesus. He knows us better anyway."

And then that adorable little kid said something that took me so many years for me to truly understand myself.

"Yeah," he says, "He's my papa."

Just like that. I love that he gets it so easily.

Kryptonite?

We've wondered lately if we have another lactose intolerant person in the house so we've been testing out different foods to see what we can come up with. After a long night of bellyaches and a very uncomfortable kid I'd say it's pretty much confirmed.

Poor Malachi.

This morning after he slept in to make up for his long night, he came upstairs to find me.

Sad and a little dejected at the fact that he was going to be joining his father on the no ice-cream, no cheese, no milk-after-your-brownie diet he said to me, "Well Mom, I guess my weakness is dairy."

To which I replied, "Well, every superhero has a weakness, sweetie."

The ear to ear smile and giant wordless hug from him assured me that I'd said the right thing.

Don't Ever Let This Kid in the Kitchen

We are just a little bit addicted to reality TV. Not the trashy stuff but things like American Pickers and Take Home Chef. When my little boys were gone for a week for the annual summer grandma-cation, all the teens and I did was watch HOURS of reality TV. I'm not even exaggerating. HOURS! Like don't shower for a few days, stay in your jammies, and eat every meal on the couch.

Not my finest moment.

So when little boys came back last night (Yahoo, I really missed them!) we were slowly detaching ourselves from the hunky Curtis Stone (Oh, shut up...he's adorable) and had just a few more episodes so we could wrap up our reality marathon. Curtis was getting ready to make homemade hot dogs when Gabe, all cuddly on my lap and still smelling of campfire even after I had just scrubbed him says,

"I know how to make hot dogs. All you need is Hotness and Dogs."

I'm so happy he's home but he's not allowed in the kitchen.

Well That's One For The Books

About 5 in the morning Gabe came stumbling down the stairs into my bedroom. He looked like he was still asleep as he held up his finger (the middle one) and cried, "My finger is bleeding." I stumbled out of bed wrapped a bandaid around it and tucked him in between Chris and I, hoping I was still sleepy enough to grab a few more hours of shut eye.

The next morning, when I woke up enough to think clearly, I asked him how he hurt his finger....WHILE HE WAS ASLEEP.

He said, "Something was wrapped around my finger squeezing it tight so I bit it off and it made my finger bleed."

Come to find out his arm had fallen asleep in the middle of the night and it FELT like something was wrapped around his finger so the poor kid chomped down on his numb little hand so hard that it broke the skin.

Is that weird or what?

The Honest Truth

You know, I'd like you to think that a typical morning in my house consists of me rising before everyone else, peacefully preparing for the day, showered and dressed before the house rose, hot breakfast waiting for sleepy heads to arrive. And, eh....sometimes that's how it goes. But most the time I wake up to this in my face....

A dog laying on my husbands chest licking me...
















Gabriel laying on top of me with a big smile...
















The next one arrives in the background....
















Then they are ALL UP IN MY FACE....
















And it's time for me to get up.

Proper Placement of Boogers

I had just woke up and stumbled upstairs. The immense amount of energy it took me to do this directed me right to the big over sized chair in my living room so I could rest again. I grabbed the nearest dog, Lady our new little cairn terrier, and began to stroke her fir. I petted her and spoke sweetly to her but suddenly her smooth fur was interrupted by a crusty lump. Now, she's pretty low to the ground so it's not unusual for her to pick something up as she's dragging herself around outside and carry it around in her coat for a few hours. I felt it my duty to get it off. The funny thing is that when I pulled it out of her fur and looked at it, it looked familiar. I'd seen it somewhere before. Upon closer inspection I realized just where I'd seen it and numerous others like it. Dangling from one of my boys fingers...and now it was dangling from mine. Yes, one of my boys had recently dug it out of his nose and wiped it on the nearest thing....which happened to be Lady. Poor doggy.

So my morning started with a lesson in hygiene....and self control. I did all I could not to holler this at the top of my lungs while I looked for a kleenex to take care of my own finger.

"When you find a booger dangling from your finger...please dispose of it properly."

I didn't even want to start with the "don't even PICK your nose" part.

Baby steps.

Just In Case The House Sinks...

Gabe begged me to take him to the dollar store today to spend his Easter money. After at least an hour of filling the cart and putting it away as he changed his mind, filling and putting away, wash...rinse...repeat....he finally settled on a blow up inner tube for the pool.....which we don't have....plus it's rainy and like 46 degrees outside.

But whatever.

He spent all day blowing it up and letting the air out. Again with the wash...rinse...repeat.

Until finally he fell asleep...


With it wrapped around his body.

Yes, he is INSIDE the inner tube.

Well, if the house goes down in the night, Gabriel will be saved.

Boy Drama

Let me assure you that drama is not just for the girls. When six year old Gabe found green beans on his plate at dinner tonight he looked up at me and said with much long suffereing, "Mommmmm, can you please remove these green beans from my LIFE?"

Wisdom Rains Down

We learned a valuable lesson in the grace for gayle house today.

Gabriel, who is six, learned never to pee outside while standing on roller blades unless you're a REALLY good roller blader.

In the words of his 9 year old big brother, "It was great mom, pee flew everywhere."

Boys

I was sitting in church today listening intently to the sermon. My six year old son was sitting on the seat beside me and I happened to glance his way. Instead of looking forward at the sermon, he was staring up at me, studying me in what I though to be rapturous love for his mommy. My chest felt full and warmth spread out through my body as I thought about just how much I love this little boy.

And my sweet son looked up and said to me, "Mommy, do I have two chins too?"

little stinker.

Introducing Tucker

The new-pet saga finally has a happy ending. Meet Tucker.

I compromised on only one thing. He's a male instead of a female. But considering we paraded half the female dogs in the pound in front of him to check his hump-factor, (yeah, it was a little like a canine booty call) I'm happy to say he passed the test and came home with us. He's also submissive, obedient, smart, house trained, mellow and cuddly. AND he sleeps through being petted, hugged, and all the screaming, shouting and running that goes on in this house.

Oh...and this is his happy boy.

A Much Easier Explanation

We were watching a move tonight where the main characters ended up getting married. And I guess (well, I'm hoping) that marriage reminded my five year old of his Mom and Dad. Because his wheels started turning and as his mind rolled around the concept of marriage he asked this question...

"Dad, where was I when you and Mommy got married?"

But before we could decide whether to come at this from a "birds and bees" angle or not, Gabriel decided to come at it from a different sort of angle and answered his own question...

"I think I was in Starbucks."

Obviously we drink way too much coffee in this house.

I'm Not Sure If That Would Still Be Considered Politically Correct

While I was off at a homeschool meeting all day Saturday, Chris took all the kids to their first Native American Pow-Wow. The only reason I found out was due to the fact that when I came home and walked in the door, Gabe was wearing only his underwear and had one kitchen towel tucked in the front and one tucked in the back loin-cloth-style. He was dancing around the house on one foot singing "Hubba-hubba, Hubba-hubba."

It seems that if he doesn't know the words, he'll just plug something in there that sounds familiar.

He also didn't quite get the phrase "Native Americans" because all he could tell me about the Pow-Wow was...

1. He saw a bunch of "Nekkid Americans" and


2. It is a fact that even "Nekkid American" children like to pick their nose and eat their boogers.

I'm not quite sure how he figured out number two, but I'm too scared to ask.

That's Just The Kind Of Mommy I Am

So what would you do if you were walking on the beach, far away from a bathroom, and your five year old decided he had to pee and asked if he could just do it in his pants.

A - Rush to the nearest tall dune grass? (Hmm, it was right in front of the restaurant windows. Not something I want to see if I'm getting ready to shovel a nice chunk of clam chowder into my mouth.)

B - Rush him back to the hotel? (The way he was dancing, we weren't going to make it.)

C - Encourage him to just let 'er rip?

That's what I did. He didn't even care.

Pee one minute....

Play the next...

Ewwww!

"Chris, I just want you to know that you are the example of who God is, to our kids."

"Hmmm" he says in a 'that's really heavy and serious' kind of way. I know he's probably thinking about the weight of that prospect and the responsibility of the job and how he can do better. He's a serious guy like that.

But of course this is ME talking and I'm just prepping him for a good laugh.

"Because today we were driving down the road and Malachi said to me, 'Mom, I think the rain is like God's tears......and the fuzzy green trees are like his back and chest hairs."

Oh yeah. Daddy's hairy so God must be too.

Completely rational reasoning for an eight year old.

And just for the record, that is NOT my hubby's back.

The Male Version Of A Chocolate Craving

From Elijah, my thirteen year old:

Mom, I've had a really bad day. I had an argument with Allegra, and Gabriel ruined the 3-D puzzle of the White House I was working on.

I need a Big Mac.

Must be a male interpretation of comfort food?

The Battle Of The Bible Heroes

My five year old wanted a snack....

"Mom, I'm an angel. (eyes blinking innocently) Can I have whipped cream in a bowl with a spoon?"

"Well.......ok." He certainly gets points for creativity and charm.

Elijah my teen says, "How come he gets some?"

My smart alecky response, "Because he looked really cute when he said he was an angel."

"Yeah, my name's in the Bible and I'm an angel." Gabriel says in his five year old neener-neener tone.

"Well mines in the Bible too," Elijah says. "And I called down fire from heaven and delivered important messages. All you did was tell Mary she was gonna have a baby."

I don't know whether to clarify that they didn't actually do those things themselves, (surely they know this, right?) to break up their arguing , or to applaud their Bible knowledge.

Instead...

"How 'bout everyone gets whipped cream?"

Parenting crisis resolved.

Beware Of Putting Limits On Dessert

The kids and I were looking at a book today that showed a picture of the sinuses. Since we’ve all been dealing with heads full of snot for the past few weeks they were enthralled at the large area that was covered. They were excited to make sense of the pressure that they felt in their faces and to trace their finger over the spots that the picture showed. And one of the kids said, “Boy, that’s like a whole face full of snot.”

“Yeah,” I said, amazed at how intricately it was all mapped out and linked together. “I’m sure God had a reason for putting it all together like that when he made us. I’m just not sure what it is.”

And Malachi piped in with this little nugget, “Well you can ask him when you see him in Heaven…..that is if you’re going there.”

Hello? Does that mean he thinks I’m going to Hell? Dang it, I knew I should have given him that bigger serving of dessert he asked for.

When Boredom Gets The Best Of You

In a moment of boredom my kids and I somehow got on the topic of elbow licking. It seems that it is an impossible feat. Which made them feel the need to prove that theory wrong.

I have to say it entertained us for a good hour as we all tried various contortionist tricks to reach our elbows.

But the winner in three trys?

Gabe.

And If I was a fly on the wall I bet you're trying it right now too.