So, my library has rows and rows of free movie rentals. They’ve crammed their movie shelves pretty close together so you end up standing back to back with whoever is looking at the shelf behind you.
Sometimes it’s a little too close for comfort and it seems that there are a lot of odorous people who live in the Pacific Northwest and like movies. But when something is free I’m not afraid to compromise my stand-two-feet-away-from-me policy to take advantage of it.
I’m kinda generous like that.
So I squatted down on the floor to read the back cover of a movie on the bottom shelf. And I stayed there a bit, knowing that my personal boundaries were getting compromised as the crush of smelly people gulped down the free space I had made up top.
And when I decided I could take the cramps in my flabby squatting thighs NO LONGER, I realized that there was no room for me to stand.
Well, that is, without bumping into the hairy beer belly that was dangling out of the T-shirt above me.
So in a moment of panic I twisted around on the floor and was immediately eye level with the very large butt of a woman wearing green sweat pants….with a two inch hole in her seam that exposed the top of her crack.
No human should have to see that.
But thar she was, for all to see. And it was obvious that underpants were not a top priority for her.
So my first thought was, do I tell her? I mean how could she not know? That would feel a bit drafty to me. I would want to know if my crack was hanging out. Even if it was a stranger that had to tell me.
What would you have done?