January 1, 2008

Yes, I Talk To My Self In Public

Normally when I go shopping, I go alone but I am constantly observing those women who shop as a pack. They try stuff on and then ask their friends, “Do I look fat? I kind of like this, what do you think?” and the friends reply, “Oh, girl, that looks so good on you! You should try that in a different color. That makes you look so skinny!”

But since I prefer to shop alone, I don’t get that feedback like most women do. So naturally I provide it for myself. And to the lady in the dressing room right beside me, I do not have multiple personality disorder… honest!

“What the heck???”

“When did my butt get so big?”

“I thought I was an 8, this says 11 but it fits! Hmm…it’s obviously mis-sized!”

“These people have clearly never given birth!”

“Why does the granny style fit me but the juniors don’t?”

“Girl, you need to lose some weight!

(Lots of grunting and jumping and moaning)

“Oh man, those suck my tummy in so good I don’t even care if they aren’t on sale!”

And if you are reading this and everything fits when you try it on, then I’m convinced you are either 12 years old or a guy.


Halfmoon Girl said...

I hear ya! I don't even need to go to the store- this happens when I try things on in my own closet.

Cindy said...

You have me laughing out loud! :) All you need is ME trying clothes on in the dressing room next to you and you'll feel way better.

And the last line of your post? Exactly right.

So good to hear your accent tonight. ;)

EE said...

I'm with halfmoon girl!

Emily said...

If I were next to you in the dressing room I'd say, "YOU GO GIRL".

that's the kind of gal I am.

~Rhen said...

That is so funny! I talk to myself all the time and out loud too! I recently wrote about it in a post.
LOL- I usually have all 6 kids and Mr. Muscles in tow when I am trying on clothing. I just love to torture my family!

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