We've been doing taxes over the past few days and it really stinks when you're a small business owner. So this letter found in our local Valley Bugler made me chuckle with vengeance.
Dear Internal Revenue Service:
Enclosed you will find my 2007 tax return showing that I owe $3407.00 in taxes.
Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper; dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.
I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2400.00) and six (6) hammers (valued @ $1029.00), which I secured at HomeDepot, bringing my total remittance to $3429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund" as noted on my return.
You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5" Philips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how HUD pays $22.00 each for a philips head screw). One screw is enclosed for your convenience.
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.
A Satisfied Taxpaper