March 6, 2008

Tax Season, Bah Humbug!

We've been doing taxes over the past few days and it really stinks when you're a small business owner. So this letter found in our local Valley Bugler made me chuckle with vengeance.

Dear Internal Revenue Service:

Enclosed you will find my 2007 tax return showing that I owe $3407.00 in taxes.

Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper; dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.

I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2400.00) and six (6) hammers (valued @ $1029.00), which I secured at HomeDepot, bringing my total remittance to $3429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund" as noted on my return.

You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5" Philips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how HUD pays $22.00 each for a philips head screw). One screw is enclosed for your convenience.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.


A Satisfied Taxpaper

If Only!


Halfmoon Girl said...

Wouldn't that be nice!

EEEEMommy said...

That's great! I read it aloud to my husband and we're both still giggling. He's been a government contractor for years, so he should know...
I pray you don't owe any toilet seats or screws this year!

Donna said...

LOL... I have read a similar "letter" like that before. I always get a good laugh out of it. You are right - If only!

Here's to hoping you don't have to send the government too many toilet seats!


Leanne said...


Yeah, IF ONLY!!!

I bet Jim and Em are over there, huh????? Dave ran into Jim today up in the hills! He was totally shocked to see him!

So, tell! Is one of the blog-o-sphere's most popular bloggers hunkered down at your house or not???

And I bet I won't even see her!!! WAAAAHHHH!!!



Jimmie said...

Very cute! And so true!
Tax time is the one time a year I curse being American. What a hassle. There has got to be a better way!!!

Mine are done and mailed. PTL!

MInTheGap said...

This is great! I wish we could all pay our taxes with what the government wastes on common things.

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

Love it. :) YOu never fail to make me smile, sweet Gayle.

JustJuggling said...

That is too funny. You should have told me though I had a toilet seat in my drive way for the longest time (we did some redecorating) I could have given to you to give to them.

ConservaChick said...

Ooh, do you think it might work? We owe serious taxes this year... how I long for the good ol' days when I got refunds. ~K

Happyhome said...

Classic! Sure wish it were that simple.

randi said...

Gayle, this is so funny! If only we could really get away with this! ;)

duckygirl said...


ConservaChick said...

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Dear GA-YLE
Happy Birthday to youuuuu

*trust me, the written version is alot more plesant than my singing version* ~K

Michelle Myre said...

Hi Gayle! I'm glad that you found the article in my paper to be uplifting! Thanks for including the link to my web site as well. It really helps spread the word about our Good News newspaper that has funnies and all sorts of good news in it. Folks can post their thoughts on articles at our new site, too. Blessings over you and yours, and can't wait for home group to start up!

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