I’m an independent, strong willed, intelligent, and capable woman. I know there’s a possibility that that statement might come out sounding boastful but that is not my intention. My intention is to acknowledge that it is the way I was made by God. Yes, sometimes those qualities can work against me when I give them full reign but even meekness and quietness can be taken to extremes too.
I’ve learned through the years to be strong, to face challenges and to overcome. And even though I rely on God, I can look back and see that sometimes I’m so busy pulling up my own bootstraps that I only seek God’s help when I’ve failed on my own.
But what He’s been teaching me this summer is that I NEED Him. Not after I’ve failed on my own, not only during a crisis, but I need him to succeed at anything. I’m pretty powerless without his guidance and direction.
Yeah, I know how to make good decisions.
Sure, I can take care of my self for the most part.
Yeah I’m a capable, strong woman.
But there really isn’t anything I can overcome, build strong, or change about my self in a lasting way without acknowledging my true helplessness without God.
I’ve found myself praying these words a lot this summer,
“I need your help Lord, I can’t do this without you!”
And it’s not just religious Christian lingo. I feel its truth in my core
Whether it’s being the wife that uniquely fits Chris, whether it’s homeschooling my kids when I’m lacking the passion to do it, whether it’s that irresistible tug to pig out when I’m trying to diet, or whether it’s having a role in the church that I feel completely inadequate in.
I’ve been learning that when I turn it all over to the Lord from the very beginning, it’s so much richer and rewarding and lighter to carry.
So that’s what I’ve learned during my summer vacation