July 26, 2008

What I Learned Over Summer Vacation

I’m an independent, strong willed, intelligent, and capable woman. I know there’s a possibility that that statement might come out sounding boastful but that is not my intention. My intention is to acknowledge that it is the way I was made by God. Yes, sometimes those qualities can work against me when I give them full reign but even meekness and quietness can be taken to extremes too.

I’ve learned through the years to be strong, to face challenges and to overcome. And even though I rely on God, I can look back and see that sometimes I’m so busy pulling up my own bootstraps that I only seek God’s help when I’ve failed on my own.

But what He’s been teaching me this summer is that I NEED Him. Not after I’ve failed on my own, not only during a crisis, but I need him to succeed at anything. I’m pretty powerless without his guidance and direction.

Yeah, I know how to make good decisions.

Sure, I can take care of my self for the most part.

Yeah I’m a capable, strong woman.

But there really isn’t anything I can overcome, build strong, or change about my self in a lasting way without acknowledging my true helplessness without God.

I’ve found myself praying these words a lot this summer,

“I need your help Lord, I can’t do this without you!”

And it’s not just religious Christian lingo. I feel its truth in my core

Whether it’s being the wife that uniquely fits Chris, whether it’s homeschooling my kids when I’m lacking the passion to do it, whether it’s that irresistible tug to pig out when I’m trying to diet, or whether it’s having a role in the church that I feel completely inadequate in.

I’ve been learning that when I turn it all over to the Lord from the very beginning, it’s so much richer and rewarding and lighter to carry.

So that’s what I’ve learned during my summer vacation


chickadee said...

i think that's the hardest lesson. i'm still learning it myself. there have been so many times lately i've begun something only to fall flat on my face and then, only then, realize i could not do it alone!

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

What a beautiful lesson to learn, and what a beautiful way to share it.

Love you!

Heather Kay said...

Thank you! This is exactly where I am but would have struggled to put it into words.
Heather Kay

justjuls said...

This is awesome - and though I only know you in the blogosphere - I couldn't imagine it ever being "religious" coming from you. Something pretty down to earth about someone who has a large percentage of posts about bodily functions! hee hee
But really - this made me think of that hymn "I need thee every hour" - I think it should be "I need thee every nano-second" - but then that would throw the musical rhythm off.

Halfmoon Girl said...

amen, amen! You get an A+.

EEEEMommy said...

Me too! Thanks for sharing!

maudie-mae said...

The BEST lessons are in God's classroom. I'll bet you get a great grade on your essay!

Cassandra Stafford said...

I couldnt agree more. I am so stubborn sometimes it seems that the lesson doesnt "stick"....but its my fault not His.

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

I'm giving you an A+, too.

What a wonderful/painful lesson to learn. But worth it. Very worth it.

TAMI said...

That's the lesson I'm f-o-r-e-v-e-r learning it seems! Sometimes I get it and sometimes I don't. However, if we can live that REALITY and model it for our children, it may be a little easier for them when they reach our stage of life!

ConservaChick said...

I hear ya. I've spent much of my summer face down on my floor (which needed to be vacuumed) crying out "Fix it Father...PLEASE FIX IT". ~K

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