***I really think we do each other a disservice when we let people think that our marriages are perfect. Marriage is hard and messy and wonderful and amazing all wrapped up in a ribbon. I mean it kind of has to be because we are all human and imperfect and make dumb mistakes and leave the toilet seat up. So when I post about the not so great stuff please know that I still think my man is amazing and I'm in it for the long haul. And if you tell me you never argue and your marriage is perfect than you are a Big Fat Liar. Sorry, thems the facts.
It happens every year...the anniversary of the day that Chris and I decided to merge our two lives into one and live happily ever after.
And we have a very-special-never-fail annivesary tradition.
We argue. Every year.
I think it's because my expectations are too high. That somehow this one day of the year will erase all the bad ones and we will instantly be transported back to our horny, starry eyed, lovesick courting days for a brief 24 hour period. That I can just forget the needy kids, lifes challenges and the fact that my breasts hang a little more south than they did 15 years ago, long enough to stare into Chris' eyes and remember how crazy in love we were when this was all new.
I know, that's a lot to live up to isn't it?
And poor Chris. He knows I have expectations that he'll never be able to meet. And instantly feels like a failure before it even starts.
So we always start off with good intentions but by the end of the day we are about to nicely kill each other.
And then we laugh about it a week later.
Yeah, it's a warped tradition but it's all ours.
And this is kind of how it looked by the end of the day.
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18 comments:
Loved that. I applaud your honesty, as that is ten times more helpful to others than pretending all is perfect. Having a sense of humour is so important in marriage, isn't it? Happy Anniversary!
you go girl. transparent, real, honest! love it. i can surely identify with this post. although mine is my birthday. these poor men of ours.
happy lovie dovie day!
Very...interesting. I hate showing the imperfect parts of my marriage because then it shows everyone what a big butt I am...I don't like showing off my big butt, thank you.
Latte
That was GREAT! Especially with the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang reference at the end! Love it!
Happy Anniversary!
You are so right. Plus, I think all those people getting a divorce think that their marriages are different somehow, that theirs didn't work because they weren't constantly snuggling or something. It is very hard work, and sometimes you do want to leave but then he'll say or do something totally nice or outrageous and all is well with the world!
Unmet expectations. I think that all marriages struggle with that and the cause of tons of fights is simply unmet expectations. Yep, I have been there.
Hope the rest of the week is better.
I just love that you wrote horny on your blog. Kills me!
Thanks for the honesty, keepin' it real yo, keepin' it real!
Oh, now I see the video- I couldn't see it yesterday. Love the long braids, but I don't think Chris looks 6'4.
How insightful to have figured out your "tradition." Thanks for sharing....and I agree with Sarah....you go right ahead and put the word horny in your blog (tee, hee).
Ditto!
I'm about ready to erase our anniversary and my birthday from the calendar altogether.
And even though I didn't press play, I'm going to have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Thanks for that! (insert rolling eyes)
I agree that we should be honest about our imperfect marriages. I also find that it's hard to find the balance b/w sharing that you struggle like everyone else, & slammin' the pastor.
Yep Sherilyn, you've got a point there. That's called "between a rock and a hard place".
Anniversaries & birthdays go OK at our house. However, if my darling husband has to leave on a business trip, we're sure to fight right before he leaves. Thankfully we FINALLY recognized the pattern, addressed it with each other and now it happens less frequently. Whew. Marriage IS very hard work!
"& slammin' the pastor"...I don't know why but this cracked me up!!! Maybe it's cuz I've gotten pretty good at slammin pastors!
-insert snorts here-
Latte
I feel the same way! I know folks who just give me the evil eye when I DARE to admit that dh and I had a scrap on our way to church or whathaveyou. Folks, not everyone agrees all the time. Admit it, and move on!
It was our second anniversary this year and I will tell you right now that that is exactly what happened! (The fighting, not Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, which, by the way, I have never seen and now know is terrifying!) I knew the whole time that it was my fault too, but couldn't stop myself. That I think is the worst. Thanks for sharing! (The story, not Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, again terrifying....)
T hate it when that happens! hate it hate it hate it.
But I'm glad yours turned out well in the end. Happy Anniverary!
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