January 13, 2009

You Wanna Do WHAT Right Now?

I remember being a new mom. It was glorious and amazing but exhausting and all consuming. When I finally fell into bed at night all I could think about was how many hours of sleep I could squeeze in before somebody woke up and needed me. Sex changed and became a leaky breasted, ignore the crying baby, "oh just get it over with" kind of thing. It still had it's fun moments but I missed the spontaneity and lust. I couldn't wait until the kids were older because I thought it would be easier to find some time to sneak off and be together.

Bwahahaha!

Now that they are older it's even more difficult. I'm not near as exhausted or sleep deprived but now they KNOW what we are up to. They know what the sly looks, whispers and throaty giggles mean. They have a vague idea what we are doing when we sneak off upstairs, shut the door and push the chair in front of it. They've caught onto our Saturday morning plan. "Hey kids, wouldn't you like to watch a movie and have popcorn for breakfast? No, not that movie. The really LONG one." And the fact that they know just plain grosses me out.

Blech.

So today I was in my room painting my toenails and my husband was getting dressed for work. We thought we were alone upstairs so we didn't talk in hushed tones. The bedroom door was open and Chris says something like this to me...

"Hey, I kinda want to do it."

"Right now? Don't you have to be somewhere?"

"There's always time."

Followed by giggles and whispers and more giggles.

And in that glowy moment of possibility we heard a disgusted teenage voice call across the hallway...

"Uh....I'm up here ya know!"

And it was over like that.

Gross.

23 comments:

Emily said...

Thank goodness my teenager wasn't there. :) haha. Double gross, huh?

Sarah @ this Beautiful Mess said...

Seriously. I come here for your realness. Love that you're willing to talk to us about all of it. From groceries to sex.

Um...have a good evening... ;)

WendyDarling said...

LOL... that's too funny. ;-) LOL...

Better catch it! said...

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I can totally ralate. We have been married for 17 eventful years.
Sometimes a few weeks might go by without us ever realizing it.
Then we are cozy in bed and I'm like................so you want to do it?
Oprah Winfrey just had an episode dedicated to the art of romance (sex) every night. I really don't think I could keep up. Yet my loving husband want's to try.
I LOVE YOUR BLOGS! They are so real!

Halfmoon Girl said...

I am hunched over giggling at as I type this. That was funny. Your poor son. I was highly embarassed at a situation with my parents once when I was a teenager. I can't go into details- gross. lol! I think it's great that you two are giggling and thinking of ways to sneak around!

Niki said...

HIL-LARRRR-RIOUSSSSS.
Yep, Gross alright.
My husband & I have became experts in the the "dive & play dead". Nothing like a little voice knocking saying "Ma, I want juice/I need a bandaid/I've drawn blood on my brother" for the 800th time.
All over, red rover.

Terri and Bob said...

You said it like it is. I think when people do this, they don't feel that they are alone feeling the way they do. Does this make ANY sense??

andysbethy said...

So, my kids are still little, and I have totally been looking forward to them getting bigger...
I guess I will say thanks for the reality check!!
That was hilarious, even if slightly depressing!

Andrea said...

I blushed reading that! We do the "movie" thing too...we've had some closecalls with being heard & yikes..it would be way more embarrassing & awkward for the kids!! ~Thanks for the reality check and reminder :)

His Girl said...

oh, ah! ick. oooh. ick. so sorry that happened.

~Rhen @yestheyareallmine said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Ow- cramp in my side!
I have to go read this one to Mr. Muscles. LOLOLOL

We have to put a pillow at the bottom of our door because the bottom is a little high. Yikes!

Rona's Home Page said...

I just wanted to say thank you for providing me the link and name of the online school.
We're moving in 5 days and there's so much to do.

40winkzzz said...

Uh, yeah. We have the 18-y/o who stays up way late and has the bedroom directly below ours, and the 13-y/o who has trouble getting to sleep and whose bedroom is right next door. Not that it matters where his room is b/c most nights he ends up on our bedroom floor. Ironically, it's the "little one" (age 10) whose bedroom is furthest away.

But then, there's the room my 21-y/o vacated. It's upstairs in hubby's shop. As in, not in the house. And hubby thinks he (we) might start putting it to good use. You know, tell the younger kids, "You guys watch a movie while we go have a talk out in the shop." Not that the 18-y/o would be fooled.

Rachelle said...

Darn it! I kept thinking it would get easier as they get older. ;-)

Kari said...

Sorry, but that made me laugh out loud. I know exactly how you feel. We have four kids (8,10,12,15) and I totally agree that it's harder than ever to find "alone" time with my hubby.

Jilann said...

Oh the funny pain of your post! Thanks for the laugh!!

Anonymous said...

Well look at it this way, your kids know you have a good marriage. That gives them stability and a model that could never be duplicated by anyone else. Gross for them, but also good for them. Make sense?

penguinsandladybugs said...

I'm the same way....don't want them to know. So weird how we don't want to picture our parents doing it....nor do we want our kids to know we do it!

Anonymous said...

Well as the old saying goes........"It" all starts in the kitchen........

My parents definitely only did "it" 2 times!!! Thus explaining my brother and me! ( ;

MedTed said...

My parents used to have Sunday afternoon "naps". It wasn't until my oldest sister was maybe 12 or 13 before we finally caught on. Now we are all grown and married and enjoy making them blush when we bring up the fact that we knew what they were doing.

Growin' with it! said...

you always have a great way to write a post that makes me look at my hubby and just get giddy! here's to awesome marriages that keep things fresh!

~yolanda said...

Now that is hilarious!!!!!! Keep it real girl. LOL

Tatersmama said...

I'm laughing so hard here, I think I split a gut.

My ex and I used to turn on the movies for the kids and give them "special" snacks... and the last time we did that, my middle son said " hey guys, I think they want to do the sex thing".

We ended up watching "The Princess Bride" with them.
And they didn't get their special snacks either. ;-)

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