March 4, 2009

One For The Books


What a fun day. It started in the wee hours of the morning when I noticed that Chris had clearly crossed the invisible line in the middle of the bed that shows where my side ends and his begins. This is a big no-no. I distinctly remember explaining this to him after the honeymoon wore off and before our second child was born. That, yes indeed, there was a "His" side and a "Her" side in our bed. The ability to cross that line is on an invitation only basis.

He hadn't been invited.

So when I awoke out of a sound sleep with Chris' hairy armpit in my face and his insanely warm body smooshed up against mine I was a little miffed. When I looked past the wall of man I realized what the problem was. A drooling five year old was laying in his place and Chris had been shoved to the center.

Unfortunately the drooling five year old ended up in my bed because he had a belly ache that later decided to erupt from his mouth and nose (never seen that before) in a waterfall of color similar to 80's mauve. Lucky me.

And not to be outdone, my thirteen year old son decided to get the mail barefoot which resulted in a 1/2 inch rectangle of dull glass shoved into the bottom of his foot. He bounded in the door dripping blood, just as my 12 year old daughter ran up the stairs crying and slamming her door because I had said something that offended her fine sensibilities. Hours later I'm still trying to figure out what it was I said.

I proceeded to pluck out the glass with my "oh my gosh is that a chin hair!" tweezers. While simultaneously holding back the tide of nausea as I performed minor surgery on my sons foot.

And then found out I started my period.

Of course.

14 comments:

N. said...

Laughing HYSTERICALLY!! Man, I thought I had a bad day cleaning up two poopy bottoms (out of the same 3 1/2 year old), having a visit from MY best friend, and RUSHING to get us out the door to church only to realize (after two were already buckled in) that #3 was running a fever! #4 (actually she'd be #1 and the one with the fever is really #4), insisted on going because she was part of a basketball bet that was taking place with the youth pastor on stage tonight, so I had to run her the 5 miles into town! Whew!

Sarah @ this Beautiful Mess said...

So is that picture of a bed pan, puke pan or a diva cup? ;)

Janelle said...

Wow! Talk about a day where you just want to climb into bed and forget it all!! I guess you didn't have a happy National Grammar Day, eh?? ;-)

Glass in the foot...Ewww! I'm not sure I could handle that one, especially on top of everything else! You are quite the woman!!!

Tatersmama said...

Is it too late to go back to bed and try and do "do-overs"??
Wouldn't it be nice though? ;-)

Word verification: counti

Like, "I'm counti the hours until I can go back to bed and forget that this day even happened.".

Jennifer said...

Sounds like you have had a rough week. I am right there with you. I hope yours gets better soon.

Sherilyn -The Dominee Huisvrouw said...

I don't think anyone's having a great week. Hopefully it doesn't last the whole month or I'll be tempted to write off March for good!

Nikowa@KHA said...

OMGoodness! This sounds JUST like my life!

Anonymous said...

Beware: The moon is approaching its fullness. Statistics show more crimes will occur, doors slammed, ridiculous accidents mulitiply with feet, hands or heads, projectile vomit erupts and moms turn into to hormone hyenas!

God Bless and alleviate your distress!

Heather Kay said...

Wow! That's rough! I get a little nauseated just reading it. I always have sympathy illnesses with my children.

Sarah @ Beautiful Mess that is one of the funniest comments ever.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a "Calgon, take me away" day. Sheesh, I hope little boy will feel better soon, and the rest of the gang too.

Halfmoon Girl said...

oh man! What a day, what a day my friend! I hope your husband brought you chocolate... I am sorry, but I laughed at your misfortunes- I'm allowed, right? The only way to get through such times is with a sense of humour and the product of the cocoa bean plant.

Tracy said...

lol. I've had those kind of days too.

Rhen @yestheyareallmine said...

Ouch! Definitely one of those "lock the door and self-medicate with chocolate" days!

His Girl said...

that is the only possible ending to this post... bahahaha.

and, so sorry sis. ick and ew and waaaah on your behalf

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