There Is Just No Polite Title For This One!

We’ve always used the REAL names for body parts when teaching our children during those early talking years. You know…..arm, finger, leg and yes, even the private ones. My rationale was first, that I didn’t want to teach it once and then have to teach it all over again and second, I surely didn’t want to get so caught up in our busy child rearing years that I forgot to eventually tell them the correct names for all their parts.

I could just see my adult son announcing to his new wife that he and his wee-wee need to use the bathroom or my daughter going into her first GYN appointment saying her yoo-hoo was doing just fine, thank you very much.

Nope, not a real good idea.

As you can imagine this has been the source of some embarrassing moments through the years. There was the time that one of my sons announced to the whole of Wal-mart that his p*n*s had an itch. People were getting whip lash trying to get a good look at the nasty boy in lane #9. And another time, on a trip to the library, when a son wanted to know where babies come from and my daughter in all her superior knowledge yelled out in her impatience, “From v*g*nas! Sheesh, don’t you know anything?!”

Cringe-worthy moments, yes indeed!

So it’s no wonder that during the toilet training process of my youngest son, the topic of body parts is frequently bandied about. Being male, he is very proud of his unique set of plumbing and enjoys talking about who has the same parts that he does. Combine that with his complete adoration of his oldest brother and this is the conversation that occurs….

Gabe- shi-shuh, do you have a p*n*s?

Elijah – Yep!

Gabe – Can I see it?

Elijah – No way! (With a huge laugh)

Gabe – Pweese!

Elijah – Huh-unh!

Gabe – Then, yours isn’t REEEEL like mine!!! It’s Fake!

Elijah wisely let him win that one. I'm sure the future holds many a peeing contest.