July 10, 2007

What DOESN'T Work For Me!

Its works for me Wednesday and my mind is a blank. Lately, it seems like NOTHIN’ is working for me.

The house is a mess….

Haven’t done school with the kids in weeks…..

Can’t get my ever-growing butt out of bed in the mornings to exercise…..

So I decided to go the other direction....

A few years ago, in an effort to take control of my aging body, I decided to see what all the hoopla was about with this newfangled Wonder Bra thing. After nursing four babies for a year each, I knew I was in need of a little help in the perky department. I marched my self right down to the local department store, grabbed me up one of those silky hot-pink numbers and marched right back home to give myself a little lift. I strapped her on, pulled my shirt back over my head and went about my day.

Right off the bat, one of my kids said, “Mom, something’s wrong with your pillows…they look higher.”

“Well, yes they do,” I thought.

But as I went about my day I noticed something else. I was incredibly clumsy. I was tripping over toys on the floor, misjudging how far away each stair was, and it seemed that my arms were shorter. By the end of the day, I was a mass of sore spots and bruises.

What I realized was this. When you take something heading south and just up and decided it’s going to head north now, well, that can really mess with your depth perception not to mention the ability to see your own feet. If my perkiness could only come at the expense of late night emergency room visits and the possibility of broken limbs, well then, I was just going to have to embrace my mommy bod, in all it’s fallen glory.

So…..Wonder bras DO NOT work for me!

Now, go check out more Works For Me Wednesday tips that might actually be useful.

22 comments:

Veronica said...

Oh, you made me laugh.

I will add they are also particularly impractical to wear while shoe-shopping. I need not explain.

justabeachkat said...

Very funny post! Pillow! Too cute.

Hugs!
Kat

Gretchen said...

good for you! You know who you are and what you're about. Thanks for the chuckle. :) P.S. Wonderbras don't work for me, either. Yes, I'm "well endowed". No, I don't like it. But...they're healthy (so far), and they're mine. :)

Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry said...

Hilarious! Thanks for the tip.

nsremom said...

Can I just say THANK YOU? I needed that tonight. :)

Corrie said...

Cute! and funny.

mummymac said...

Funny!

WhyMommy said...

Too funny! You made me laugh.

Stephanie said...

hahahaha - I'll keep this in mind! :)

Marcia said...

Excellent - I loved this what doesn't work

Yours is the first blog i clicked on out of that intimidating list :)

Organising Queen blog and
Take Charge blog

HeatherJ said...

Thanks for a good laugh (starting with "why is mommy locked . . ." I will be back. :-)

Cindy said...

I hear ya! I would never have believed that things so small and flat could actually droop so much. I finally found the rigth bra for this four-time-nursing mom. A little padding, a little lift, (ok a lotta lift) and I'm good to go.

Karen said...

This cracked me up!

Candace & Anna said...

You mean they are supposed to be heading north? hmm I forgot they were supposed to do that lol. Great post!!!

Ginny said...

Very funny post, lol. I can relate with the not feeling like anything is working. I'm not big enough to relate to the Wonderbra problem though, lol, it works for me!

christa said...

hey, had fun catching up on your posts...loved them all. you've got great humor. loved the sewing room! And girl day! And i totally agree about the wonder bras...plus they're heavy!!! it's like adding 4 lbs to my load bearing all day! no thanks!!!

Lana G! said...

Laughing myself silly! Love it!

Mom2fur said...

I just admire that you were daring enough to buy one of those and try it! Have you ever seen the ones with water in them? Geesh...like I want to carry bags of water around my neck besides my natural endowments. (Believe me when I say I'm endowed. At 51, and after 4 of my own...I'm pretty 'southern' myself. And I ain't talkin' about the Mason Dixon line, LOL!)

Halfmoon Girl said...

well, I don't really have enough to get in the way of my line of vision, but thought your post was hilarious! I do find it hard to buy a bra in my size that is padded. I hate that. I am ok with being a 36 C, I don't want to be a pushed up and padded. I am sure my kids would comment on it too then.

Rachelle said...

*laughing hysterically* Thanks for starting my day off (again) with a laugh. Great post.

EEEEMommy said...

That! Is! Hysterical! Truly!

Jill said...

Great post. I love "What doesn't work for me." Maybe we should start that too. My list would be long. However, I love me a good Wonderbra. No matter how perky a bra makes my tatas, they are never going to stick out enough to mess with my depth perception.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...