Being a full time mom is hard. And even though my love language is acts of service, there is only so much serving this Mom can give before my resources are completely depleted and all that is left is impatience, intolerance, and disdain.
And who wants that?
My wise and all-knowing husband has learned to read the signs. My usually sunny disposition takes a nose dive and even though I might not be complaining on the outside, the venomous attitudes going on inside of me usually seep out in all their mucky glory.
But it’s good that I’m able to notice it now. I’ve learned what I need to do to fill myself up so that I can be a better wife and mommy to everyone involved. And thankfully hubby knows too and is willing to do just about anything to have the old “me” come back.
So Sunday morning, the first thing that went through my head upon waking was, “I want to read the Sunday paper in bed, go run the lake, visit my grandma, and then go to the scrap booking marathon I had scheduled for that evening.” No meals to prepare, no emergencies like….
“Where is my other shoe?”
“Gabe just pooped on the kitchen floor”
“Allegra won’t play with me”
“Honey can you call these clients and make these copies for me?”
“I don’t wike pancakes fo bweakfast!”
And the minute hubby saw my Meltdown-Mommy face that morning as I rolled over with frizzy hair and dragon breath, he asked, “What do YOU want to do today?”
He immediately loaded the kids up, ran down to purchase a Sunday paper and declared the bedroom off limits to anyone under 5 feet tall. I read and snuggled in the middle of the bed…and waited for the tentative knock on the door heralding the first interruption of the day.
But it never came!
I threw on my running clothes and snuck down the stairs to the back door. Like a super spy, I closed the back door silently behind me, slid into the car and as soon as the noisy garage door was open just enough for the car to sneak through, I hit the gas and screeched down the driveway and around the corner to freedom!
I spent the whole day doing things I wanted to do. I actually got to think for several hours without being interrupted. I blogged in my head during my whole 3.5 mile walk/run, just chatting with you guys about my sucky attitude and how I was feeling better already!
(You guys are really good listeners!)
Then I visited with my Grandma, went home for a quick shower (everyone was gone…I showered in silence and with no body sneaking in for a quick pee and flushing the toilet so that I get sprayed with a blast of ice water) and then loaded up my scrap booking supplies and headed out to meet with friends.
I stayed till midnight so I didn’t have to deal with bedtime issues or a husband with “That Lovin’ Look” in his eye, and then this morning I showered early and slipped out the door for tea with a friend.
And I’d like to let you all know that sunny Gayle is back again, fresh and renewed and ready to take on whatever comes my way today.
But if it involves poop on the kitchen floor I’m sending them to Dad!