With a title like that and my track record for pictures of poopy pants and recipes for booger sandwiches I’m sure you’re reading on, hoping for a funny story. But sometimes the humor has to take a little sidestep when God’s doing some work in me.
A consistent theme in my life over the last few years (and maybe longer but sometimes I can be real dense) has been the phrase “trust and die”. I don’t remember exactly when He planted that into my heart but it’s been a constant source of teaching; a reminder that my life is not my own and that I need to set my own plans aside, knowing that the God that loves me has my best interests at heart.
And if ever you need a surefire lesson in who is REALLY in control, then that is definitely the quickest route.
Over the past year, and especially the past month, I’ve been given multiple opportunities to strip away what I’ve REALLY been hanging on to; my house, my husbands job, a consistent paycheck, the American Dream. These aren’t bad things in themselves, but for some reason that I don’t understand and honestly, am not enjoying very much, He’s wanting me in a place of desperation where I can honestly say, “I don’t care about any of that stuff…I just want You and whatever you have planned for me.”
Not a journey without birth pains…let me tell you that much.
So I find myself dangling over the edge of a cliff of uncertainty. Below me is pitch blackness. I don’t know if it’s just a few feet down and there are a pile of pillows waiting to catch me, or if the pit is hundreds of feet deep with sticker bushes at the bottom. But there is a big strong arm reaching down and holding on to me. An arm that is warm and comforting and his grip is tight and never tiring. I’m not quite sure if the arm is going to pull me up and out of the cliff or if it’s going to direct my fall to the best place for me to land. But I know He’s got me and that He’s got my rescue all figured out. So all I have to do is relax and listen for His direction when the time comes and then act without question or fear.
And I can honestly say that it is a difficult place to get to, but a peaceful place to rest.
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12 comments:
The relaxing and listening part is SO hard for me to do! Great post Gayle. It parallels a chapter in a study I am doing right now called Lies Women Believe.
"I’m not quite sure if the arm is going to pull me up and out of the cliff or if it’s going to direct my fall to the best place for me to land. But I know He’s got me and that He’s got my rescue all figured out."
This is beautiful!
just know that your struggles are shared by many others, me included. He has a way of stripping many things out of my life. It stings.
I can really relate to this post. I'm doind a Beth Moore study on Exodus, and reading about the "time in the desert" has been a huge help (it's all about letting go, and allowing God to provide). Can't wait to hear about God's amazing "rescue".
On another note, I had a dream last night that you and Emily came for a visit! It was great, except I had gained like 30 pounds the night before you came. Oh, and Elijah could do crazy gymnastics type flips... wierd. Anyway, I'm hoping it was prophetic (the visit part, not the 30 pounds part). ~Karlie
Thanks for that beautiful honesty. Praying that God will use all of this to draw you and your family closer to Him!
H does have a way of stripping us down. Great post
Great post! I appreciate and relate to what you are speaking of. I struggle with this on an hourly basis sometimes. I will be praying for you and your family!!!
I just want to hug you and pray with you!
I thought of Psalm 31 when reading this... I think your picture of a cliff brought to mind rocks; a rock of refuge; a strong fortress to save.
"Turn your ear to me; come quickly to my rescue. Be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.
"Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me."
You may feel you are dangling, but I am believing that God is setting your feet in a spacious place. (verse 8)
Awww...Gayle. I know how tough things like this can be. Just remember that uncertainty is the material of faith, and faith is what is accounted to us for righteousness (in Christ). It sounds to me like you already realize it though. I wish I could just pick up the phone and chat with you.
Love to you, friend.
You are going to get some interesting searches from this title.
Great post!
Thank you for your post. I haven't read your blog for a while and God directed me here today. You put into words something I have been struggling with too. God bless you for sharing so eloquently and honestly.
Janice
Thanks for sharing your heart! To be completely honest, I endure the poopy posts for posts such as this. But I'm the one who finds it easier to cry than laugh.
I continue to pray for you!
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