Some Things Are Worth Being A Dork For

You might not believe this, but I try to live my life without drawing undue attention to myself. But sometimes a situation necessitates that I act like a dork in public.

And this was one of those times.

Sunday nights I spend a good 2 hours planning my meals and grocery list for the following week. If you read my OTHER blog, you know what I’m talking about.

So when Monday morning comes around, I’ve got a clipboard with all of my hours of work attached to it, and I hit the stores to get my groceries for the week.

Well, I made it to the first store, and I’m thinking I was giddy with the fact that I had no children in tow. Or maybe it was because I only spent $6 for two plastic bags of groceries. But either way, when I arrived at the second store my clipboard was missing.

I panicked! I knew there was no way I could remember all that stuff.

I had to go back.

The first place I checked was the cart return. I’d only been gone for 5 minutes so I was sure it was still in the basket.

Nope.

So I went inside the doors to the checker, just knowing that she was waiting for me to arrive. She’d have a little smirk on her face and say, “Oh there you are.”

Nope.

So my only other option was to systematically go down every aisle and stare inside everyone’s carts to see if I could find it. I’d put way too much work into this shopping trip to just walk away. What I didn’t realize as I planned my search is that I couldn’t just do a drive-by-staring. I was going to have to nonchalantly stand by each cart, do a few contortions so I could see under their piles of groceries without actually touching them, all while trying not to be noticed by the cart owner.

So subtle, right?

I cruised every aisle and by the time I reached the last two my hopes were dwindling and I was gathering a small crowd of curious followers trying to figure out just what the crazy lady was doing.

But Hah! In the last aisle I found it in the cart of an old lady. It was sitting under her purse. I just wanted to grab the darn thing and be done with it but I knew I would freak out the lady who would probably think I was going in for her wallet instead.

So I hovered for a bit, which SHE thought meant, “You’re in my way, and will you please move your cart so I can get around.”

And that ended up looking like a grocery cart ballet in the middle of the aisles.

Finally I pointed and mumbled something….several times….before she realized that I was trying to tell her that my list was under her purse.

She frowned, mumbled something unpleasant about young girls, (I think she was referring to me and I instantly drowned out her rudeness due to the fact that she referred to me as a “young girl”.)

And as soon as she handed it over I mumbled my thank-yous and exited….to the sound of faint clapping from the checker and the three curious onlookers who had followed me around the store.